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When to start taking your jealousy seriously

Jealousy is a really funny business. It’s a bit like salt and pepper: You need a little bit, so your relationship isn’t bland and meaningless, but too much can ruin what you’ve got. Jealousy can be a natural part of love or a sign of insecurity — and sometimes, it’s justified, and a sign of something out of place in the relationship.


It’s natural to feel jealous, especially when in a romantic relationship. You always want to feel that no one is as special as you are to your partner; that no one else even comes close. But, depending on how close you feel to your partner and how confident you feel about yourself, your jealousy level and the way you react to it can change dramatically. Sometimes it’s a natural result of love. Sometimes it’s a sign of your insecurity. And sometimes,  your jealousy can indicate a problem in your relationship.

Other “beautiful” women

A man’s turning head may cause you a little discomfort — or a lot, depending on the situation — and might get you to question how you look from time to time. But as long as your man is truly attracted to you and is truly yours, you don’t need to worry. This is healthy jealousy. However, when your man seems to be passing negative comments about what you’re wearing and how you look a little too often, and seems to be enjoying checking out several girls a day, then something is definitely up and it’s time you address it.

Talking to other girls

Secretive-seeming phone calls and messages can appear much worse than they actually are. It is important to trust your partner and not let your mind run wild. Do not jump into conclusions and do not hijack his phone. As long as he has the time to call you and be with you like he always does, then there is nothing to worry about — it’s just insecurity. If you start to feel, however, that he suddenly has less and less time for you and seems to be glued to his phone, walking away from you when it rings, then something’s wrong. Perhaps it’s time to hijack!

Female friends

Just like you have male friends, he has female friends too. And just like you enjoy laughing and joking with your guy friends, so does he with his female friends. So far, no harm — there’s nothing worrisome about the situation. If a mysterious new friend pops up and you can’t help but feel jealous, suggest that the three of you go out or attend a function together. If he seems reluctant to introduce you two, and rejects the idea more than once, then your jealousy is justifed and something needs to be done.

more on jealousy

Dealing with your boyfriend’s female friends
Getting over jealousy
How to be less jealous

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