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Your new boyfriend isn’t winning over your bestie

You’ve got a new crush, but not everyone’s excited about him — you can tell your BFF hates him. Here’s how to handle the situation.

Your best friend hates your boyfriend

You’re really in love with your guy. But you can sense that your best friend doesn’t feel the same way — you know her well enough to tell that she’s less than thrilled about him. But you really want it to work out with him. What can you do? You can only pretend for so long that everyone’s getting along.

Talk to your friend

You know each other better than anyone else knows either of you — so just be upfront and ask gently why you’re getting the vibe she is not a fan of your new man. It may be hard to hear, but listen to what she has to say and be open to it. It is very possible that he’s a bit self-centred and you’re too infatuated to see it (in which case, you have some potential breaking up to do). Alternatively, be aware of other clues, too. Does it seem like your bestie feels ignored since he came into your life, and this is what’s actually upsetting her?

What you don’t want to do is let your new boyfriend know of her ill feelings; it will make seeing your friend awkward, or worse, he may go on the defence and look for flaws in your friendship. In this scenario, it’s easier at the beginnings of the relationship to act as though everything is humming along just fine in the friends-and-boyfriend department.

Hang out together

It may take more than one meeting for your friend and your boyfriend to hit it off. Try hanging out a few more times. Don’t create a pressure-filled situation — keep it casual and light. Don’t make it obvious but if you can give them time alone together, it may help make it seem less like you’re monitoring and assessing every interaction.

Accept that you may have to juggle your friend and your man

Not everyone gets along and you may simply need to accept this. If you don’t want to break up with your guy and you want to continue your friendship with your BFF, but they just rub each other the wrong way, you will have to see each one separately. Your friend loves you enough to be civil to him when she does see him and she should understand how much her effort means to you.

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