So you want to try something new in the bedroom, but you can’t get over the stress roadblock getting in your way. Worry-free sex feels better, so it’s time to ease up, relax and get comfortable with the idea of experimentation. Here are a few tips for changing up your sex life without the fuss.
Keep an optimistic attitude.
Before thinking about any negative feelings you might have toward experimentation, think of it as having a new experience. Keeping an open mind and optimistic attitude will automatically alleviate stress and lower those pesky, shy inhibitions. Be your vivacious, happy, optimistic self, and terrific sex will find its way into your life.
Make little changes.
Ease into it. There’s no need to take your sex life from zero to 60. Take baby steps into experimentation. Perhaps your adventure for the night will be introducing a new lubricant. The following week, maybe it’s a new toy. Work your way up to your goal — or not. That way, if anything makes you uncomfortable along the way, you can decide that the original experiment wasn’t for you anyway. As you go along, gauge what you like and what you don’t. Sometimes, the little change-ups can be the most pleasing.
Cut out complications by planning ahead.
Be prepared. Sure, spontaneous sex is great fun, but getting down to business and realizing you don’t have the proper accessories can be a bummer. Make sure you have birth control if you need it, as well as any toys or lubricants. Don’t go searching for these things once the romance gets hot and heavy; it can kill the mood and add unnecessary stress to an otherwise enjoyable situation.
Talk it out.
If you want to try something in the bedroom you’ve never tried before, make sure it’s with a partner you trust. An open line of communication before sex starts will help you and your partner decide what you want, what you don’t and how to handle things if they don’t go the way you expect. Perhaps you’ll want to decide on a “safe word” if things become too rough or naughty. Once you say the safe word, things should end. That way, you can still have some control, even if you’re in a vulnerable position.
Go through your usual anti-stress routine.
Whether you hit the gym or have a glass of wine, going through your normal anti-stress routine will add some normality to your day and help you unwind before it comes down to sexy time. Treat yourself to a relaxing bath with candles. Even add your man to the mix to discuss what’s going to happen as you begin to melt away stress and anxiety.