Dating is a crap shoot no matter how you look at it. Online dating raises those stakes even higher. People online can tell you whatever you want to hear and you never know until you get there what you are going to get. One woman’s amazing cautionary tale on Reddit of her first date gone so scary wrong should be a warning to us all.
This chilling bad date story came from a Reddit thread highlighting terrible dates. Some were funny. Others embarrassing. And some, like this woman’s, were downright terrifying.
This woman’s thread played out like a plea to find the woman who saved her from a horrible date. She’d found herself on a first date with a much older man who was plying her with drink after drink after drink. She didn’t know how to say no.
I wanted to leave, but he ordered another shot. The second time he ordered shots I said I was good and when the server brought only one shot he went to the bar and got a second one and handed it to me. I didn’t want to make a scene.
Yikes. We’ve all been there. We women are often afraid to say no. A group of strangers nearby took pity on the girl. One even walked her out to her car and then drove her car home with her boyfriend following. Talk about amazing strangers! Instead of ending up on the news, she ended up safe at home.
This morning I woke up and the night before feels so hazy, I am only sure it really happened because this morning I found her umbrella in my car.
Was she a fairy godmother? We’ll never know. But we all can take a few lessons from this tale of dating horror.
1. Practice saying no
She points out that she “knows how to say no” but being in a new place with a forceful stranger made her temporarily forget. It’s important to actually practice saying no so that when you’re out of your element it’s automatic.
2. It’s OK to be rude
As women we’re conditioned to avoid hurting people’s feelings at all costs which sometimes leads us to staying in situations longer than is safe or healthy for us (I think I just summed up half of my dates in college). When it comes to your personal safety, it’s perfectly fine to be rude.
3. Make a scene if you have to
The girl says she didn’t want to refuse the extra drinks because she didn’t want to make a scene but the man was counting on her instinct to avoid being “that girl” to lure her even deeper into a dangerous situation. Yeah it will be embarrassing in the moment but most of the people staring would be silently clapping for her.
4. Don’t go against your will because you feel obligated
Just because someone buys you drinks or dinner doesn’t mean you owe them anything. Period.
5. If you see someone else in trouble, step in
It can be seriously nerve-wracking to intervene between two strangers. Who knows what will happen if we don’t? If we aren’t there for our sisters, who will be?