So you made the brave move, texted the dude, and now you can’t stop obsessing over your phone, wondering if/when he’s gonna hit you back. We know how you’re feeling: jittery, anxious, maybe even a little loose in the bowels. Awesome!
t You’re alive and this moment is teeming with excitement! But we don’t want you to have a panic attack or sink into a vortex of abandonment issues while playing the waiting game. So the following are some of our tried-and-true ways to handle the silent space before you get a response.
1. Scrub the kitchen floor
tThe manic energy that comes with sending the guy I like a text can be very positively put to use on the tiles of my kitchen floor. When else would I be obsessive enough to toothbrush the cracks? Never. Scrub it out till your phone goes “bing.”
2. Drink tequila
t Some might think this is strange advice coming from a psychotherapist, but the fact is tequila makes you forget pretty much everything. Every mind-altering substance has its time and place, and what better time to take advantage of this medicinal Mexican liquid? Conscious ignorance can be a real bliss. I like the mini bottles of Patron. Soak off the label afterwards and they make great bud vases.
3. Pull a tarot card
t I may be a yoga teacher but I’m not one to trust any old mystical tricks. However, the tarot cards are the real deal. When I’m nervous about a dude’s reply and pull a card on the essence of the relationship, the tarot always gives me solid insight. Sometimes it’s not all sunshine and kittens; the Devil card has come up more times than I care to admit. But I can count on the tarot to point out hidden aspects of the dynamic and get me real again. Getting real soothes the heart and soul, always.
t When you’re too in your head, it’s a good idea to drop back into your body. Self-pleasuring with a little coconut oil is the perfect way. If you’re fantasizing about the guy while in the act, this will send positive loving sexy vibes into the universe. He’ll most likely pick up on your wavelength and the phone will blow up before you even finish.
5. Put on house music and work your core
tPhoto credit: Blend Images/JGI/Jamie Grill/Getty Images
t Clearly, one of the main reasons I texted him is because he’s super sexy. And I want to be sexy with him. So with the post-text adrenaline it feels amazing to blast house music with a wall-quaking beat and do every single core exercise I know. Both connecting to my power center, and prepping my bod for my next lingerie-clad encounter. Two birds, ladies… two birds with one text. Sorry neighbors.
6. Thrift shop
t Even if you are impulse buying, you can’t do too much damage in a place where cashmere costs $10. Plus, thrift stores provide the thrill of the hunt. You’ve got to do some sifting to find a gem, which is my forte. The local Goodwill is my fave. I found the cutest velvet floral jacket the other day while waiting for my latest dude’s response. Thank you, latest dude. I’ll wear it for you.
7. Plan a stylish night out with your BFF
t Another reason I texted is because I’m craving a cinematic escapade in the city that never sleeps. So if it doesn’t pan out will I be deprived of my desired adventure? No way. Not if I message one of my girls and plan a dazzling night out. This way I’m not dependent on him for an epic evening. I’ve got one lined up already… he’s just frosting on my already-satisfying cake.
8. Kiss a random
t It is not healthy to spend too much time feeling deprived of sexy attention. Trust me, I’m a professional. So when I’m waiting around like a lump on a log, I just walk out my front door and go find someone else to make out with. In this city, it’s never hard. As Ariel can attest, I’ve got countless stories from men I’ve met while just walking down the street. Plus it’s really tough to check your inbox when you’ve got some guy’s tongue in your ear.
9. Keep building your empire
t We’re well into the age of women’s lib, but when caught in the throes of a fresh romance I still sometimes get haunted by the thought that I need the guy to “save” me. It’s like all the ghosts of my female ancestors wake up and start hovering around my smartphone. When those old broads are wringing their ghostly hands I know it’s time to kick my inner damsel in the ass and work on my empire. Shoot a bold email to a new contact, design a fresh workshop, write an article… Take life by the balls and erect another turret. Gosh, the view is nice from up here.
10. Make some crafts
t Getting crafty puts you in touch with the part of you that doesn’t give a hoot about the game of love and doesn’t even know what a text is. Yes it may have been eons ago, but the child inside never feels disconnected from love because she is love. Don’t ever forget who you are and where you’ve come from. Get out the glitter and glue and nurture the child, the goddess, the woman and the creative human you are.