Do you have a “banana roll”? Do you even know what that is? Up until today I would have just guessed it was some variation of the tasty pumpkin roll, but made with banana bread instead. And I kind of wish I was still blissfully ignorant. Because according to… whoever it is that decrees plastic surgery trends (surgeons? celebs? their publicists?), you can now add banana roll to your list of “Hideous Ailments that Must Be Fixed,” like muffin tops, bat wings, cankles and FUPAs.
A banana roll is that little pocket of fat that sits under each butt cheek. And since 2014 has been declared “Year of the Butt” (which is weird in its own right because, well, butts have always existed and always been beautiful), everyone is supposedly striving to get a Kim Kardashian or Nicki Minaj juicy double. This means that squats and lunges are the exercise du jour, curvy jeans are cool and a little padding in the back is considered a good thing, instead of something to diet away. (All of which are cool and necessary improvements, by the way.) But, heaven forbid, any of that padding ends up in a non-socially-acceptable place like, say, under your butt cheeks.
Good thing there’s a plastic surgery to fix that.
“Removing that roll is an effective way of creating greater definition between the top of the thighs and the buttocks; however, you must be careful not to remove too much, as this can cause the buttocks to droop,” says Dr. Dennis Wolf to the Daily Mail.
He explains that “‘banana roll lipo’ is often used in conjunction with fat transfer to the bum cheeks. The procedure means the top of the patient’s thighs are reduced and this unwanted fat is then added to their bottom to make it more curvaceous. The two treatments combined are said to help achieve the perfect posterior. The patient has the dreaded ‘banana roll’ removed whilst improving the definition of their buttocks for a curvier silhouette.”
But, he cautions, don’t get too excited yet. The effect doesn’t last very long unless you are dieting and exercising to maintain it.
While I’m all for helping a woman feel her best — and if that includes some surgery, I will not judge — adding yet another normal body part to the list of things we must obsessively worry over feels unproductive at best and downright crazy-making at worst. Some might say that this is just another celebrity fad that will skip most of us, but normal women have shown they will do a lot of things to get a perfect butt, including back-alley surgeries and injections that can be disfiguring and even fatal.
So, until we stop vilifying normal female bodies and perpetuating the ideal of perfection, we will continue to end up with stories like this. If it’s not banana roll surgery, it will be something else. While I realize this is a lofty goal, the more of us who add our voices to the growing roar of dissent, the sooner we’ll see change. In the meantime, I’m waiting for someone to invent “banana roll shaping underwear.” It’ll happen.