Is your relationship on track — or is it a train wreck in the making? Since the whole crystal ball thing doesn’t seem to work, I enlisted relationship experts April Masini and Kimberly Moffit to find out which oddball questions will reveal a surprising amount about your future together. Let’s get started, shall we?
1. What do you want to do when you retire?
You’re both in your 20s or 30s, so yes on the surface this question seems totally wacko — but not only will it give you both a good laugh, you might be surprised by what you both want. “It’s a great way to get to know your partner as well as yourself,” says Masini.
2. Let’s throw in the towel on a traditional Thanksgiving this year — what do you want to do for the long weekend that’s totally out of the box?
Whether this question leads to confessions of wanting to run away from your families this year, or admit you really do enjoy the tradition, it’s a question that will allow your minds to open up to new possibilities in your relationship (especially if you feel like you’re on the verge of a rut).
3. Let’s do something crazy in the bedroom. Your choice, but it has to be something we’ve never done before. What do you think?
“It’s very difficult for couples to get out of sexual ruts, especially when mostly everything else is going well,” says Masini. “By simply asking, you’ve started the ball rolling.” Plus, it’ll help you gauge how daring you can be in other areas of your life together.
4. How does my butt look in this?
OK, so this is a question that terrifies men, but live a little. If he answers honestly and you can tell there’s no sugar coating, he’s more likely to be honest in other situations as well.
5. What do you think about that waitress’ hair?
If your guy can compliment another woman without worrying about looking like a cheater, then he’s probably not a cheater.
6. I still have some of my student loans — do you?
“If he doesn’t get defensive after hearing this question and can look you in the eye to answer, it’s a good thing,” says Moffit. “Financial issues are a common point of contention in many relationships, so it’s important to check on your financial openness with your partner.”
7. I’m thinking about shaving my head/cutting my hair super-short/getting a breast reduction. What do you think?
If he immediately tries to preserve your “beauty” without considering why you want to cut your hair or get a breast reduction (i.e., your back is always in pain), think twice about what he really sees in you. Also…
8. I’m thinking about getting breast implants. What do you think?
If he starts panting or cuts you a check to “pitch in,” run. Run away now. (And buy yourself something pretty with the check.)
9. We should plan a vacation at some point. When/where should we go?
If he starts twitching when you ask this, it’s not likely he’s thought about a future with you.
10. Do you want to try and catch the garter?
If he resists (unless you’re into shy guys), he probably has anxiety at the thought of a wedding… to you.