Ok, so I’ve always joked that I’d rather make my own boyfriend rather than deal with another dead-end date or Tinder hookup. I’ve never actually done it, but some people are making their own fantasy relationships… and it’s kinda creepy.
And it seems to be turning into a trend.
First, artist Noortje De Keijzer released “My Knitted Boyfriend,” a kit that gives you the opportunity to knit your very own Mr. Perfect. He’s everything you want him to be because, well, you make him.
“He will have a mustache if you prefer mustaches,” she writes on her website. “He will wear glasses if you prefer glasses. He likes to sit on your floor, on your couch or at your dinner table. But most of all he likes to lay down next to you in bed. With your head on his chest and his arms wrapped around you. This way you will never feel alone ever again. With this man you can be sure, he will never leave you.”
We’re sold… especially if the optional accessories include a Ryan Gosling face.
Then, there’s this guy. According to a series of photos uploaded to Imgur, this “lonely man” turned his shower head into his very own doting gal pal by adding a mask, lingerie, wig and some balloons for boobs, of course. According to the pics, he regularly caresses his blond bombshell and even feeds her ramen. Because that’s what all loving boyfriends do.
Swoon. We’re kind of hoping (praying) it’s a joke, but behavioral health specialist Robert Weiss, LCSW, CSAT-S, says it’s not that uncommon for people to imagine and then create the perfect mate.
“For some people, this behavior is mostly a laughable look at the fact they don’t currently have a boyfriend or girlfriend,” he tells SheKnows. “That said, for many people this is a very real attempt at filling an emotional void. I see this sort of behavior all the time in the ways people utilize digital technology. They go online and cruise social media, porn sites, dating sites and hookup sites, hoping to get their emotional needs met in some way. Much of the time they’re hoping to find a real person for a real relationship, but other times they’re not.”
Weiss cites the growing popularity of digitally-animated boyfriends and girlfriends among Japanese people as one example. One man even held a “live commitment ceremony” with his digital gal pal on the dating simulation game Love Plus.
Jokes aside, creating your own mate can be a fun way to joke about the dating scene, though others look to it as a way to avoid intimacy and the heartache that can come with it.
“People with attachment deficit disorders — most often the result of neglectful and/or abusive parenting and other early-life trauma issues — may well seek out artificial and therefore risk-free forms of intimacy — whether it’s a converted showerhead girlfriend, a knitted boyfriend, an avatar, digital pornography, anonymous webcam encounters, or whatever,” he says.
“The simple truth is that real intimacy with real people requires a level of vulnerability (being honest about who you are, what you want and what you are feeling) that can feel intolerable to some people, especially those damaged by early-life trauma,” Weiss adds. “These folks may, as adults, seek to avoid true intimacy and the risks inherent with emotional vulnerability, instead choosing to (temporarily and partially) meet their very human need for connection via simulated encounters.”
Just try to stay away from shower mates. Not sure that’s ever justifiable.