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10 Nontraditional nookie songs for the freaky chick

Play Barry White in the bedroom, and I’ll laugh you into celibacy. I admit: I’ve never been the kind of girl wooed by Adam Levine or James Blunt. Give me Trent Reznor any day.

I had the pleasure of attending a Suicide Girls show once — Blackheart Burlesque — where I watched Priddy Suicide work a chair and a bottle of Jack Daniel’s to the tune of Marilyn Manson’s “Beautiful People.” Now, that was sexy (also a reminder that I need more tattoos).

I’m a romantic, sure. I like when my husband buys me flowers. I like candlelight. I like to slow dance. I’m not saying these things are worthless. I’m just saying sometimes you gotta get a little freaky.

Not everyone gets down on playing music in the bedroom, but I think it can be a nice addition to the norm. Kind of like handcuffs.

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In homage to freaky chicks the world over, I’ve collected the top 10 songs you need added to your sexy time playlist. These songs will turn you on in ways you didn’t know possible. Get out the leather corset and whip, girls. It’s time to be bad.

1. “#1 Crush” by Garbage
We all remember this song from Romeo + Juliet, right? Shirley Manson echoes her dulcet tones over lyrics like, “I would die for you; I would kill for you.” (She’d probably do a lot of things for you.) The tune has great, slow rhythm, good for some slow sexy time. The tune is also great for a warm up striptease. He will worship you when this song is over.

2. “Desire” by Meg Myers
Myers has a darkness to her music. Each song is beautiful with sexy lyrics, but there is something dangerous in her songwriting.

3. “No Ordinary Love” by Deftones
Sure, the ’80s version isn’t bad, but the Deftones (a bedroom regular) take this song to the edge in their remake. The tempo is super slow and sultry, filled with low bass that makes your tummy tremble (among other things). I find this to be a good before, during or after kind of song. Before, it gets you revved up. During, it sets the pace.

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4. “Closer” by Nine Inch Nails
I know you saw this one coming. I mean, how many songs have the line, literally, “I wanna f*** you like an animal?” This is tie-your-hubbie-to-the-bed music. This is break-furniture music. For real, just set it on repeat, and watch your house burn down.

5. “If Tha Mood” by Esthero
Esthero has a naughty playfulness to her music, particularly in this song. It’s not a morally righteous song, dear no. It’s a song about screwing another woman’s boyfriend, but the bad girl lyrics and jazzy style will put you in the mood to dance all over the bed. Again, this one is ideal for a striptease. I suppose it could also be the theme song for a hot one night stand.

6. “Glory Box” by Portishead
Really, anything by Portishead could have gone on this list, but “Glory Box” is the one song most people know. “I just want to be a woman,” twills lead signer Beth Gibbons. I would suggest high heels and fishnets. A sexy saunter across the room perhaps? This song makes you feel like a woman and proud of it, too.

Striptease 101: Strut your stuff >>

7. “Inertia Creeps” by Massive Attack
Massive Attack is another band that deserves full nookie time attention. They use quiet vocals and electronic beats. This song in particular was featured in a Victoria’s Secret ad, which is probably why it makes me want to pose in a corner and make bedroom eyes.

8. “Baby Did a Bad Bad Thing” by Chris Isaak
Oh, yes, she did! Isaak has that velvety, Southern boy kind of voice and the looks to match. This song is set above a bluesy guitar riff, and boys beware: “Baby” turns good girls bad. It’s about a heartbreaker, and admit it: At one time or another, you’ve fantasized about being a heartbreaker, haven’t you? Own the fantasy with this rocking good time.

9. “Closer” by Kings of Leon
I really think this song is about vampires, which is maybe why I like it. I think vampires are hot. There is no romance here. The lyrics are creepy, and the tone is dark. Still, something about that slow beat and Anthony Followill’s scratchy tenor make “Closer” bedroom friendly. Plus, the title itself… well, take some time to get closer to your guy.

10. “All I Want is You” by U2
U2 solidified its sex appeal for me with this tune, although “With or Without You” is a close second. This is for intimate, face-to-face intensity. You are the goddess. You are all he wants. Believe it. Make it so.

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