14 Ridiculous but funny nicknames for vaginas

It’s time to take back the vagina. And by that, of course, we mean it’s time to start using the word “vagina” instead of all the wimpy other options we use to beat around the bush.

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Hear hear! Ladies, we’re starting a revolution and we’re taking back the word “vagina.” We’re better than kitshy nicknames and skirting around the facts, girls. We’re grown women and should be able to say “vagina” without cringing or needing to come up with less mentally-offensive nicknames. It’s a technical term and the actual medical name for your lady parts. So, why are we so embarrassed to say the word? Let’s move on. Let’s get past the BS and start calling our vaginas… vaginas.

Boys have their own unfortunate nicknames for our vaginas and obviously those need to go out the window, too. Of course, if you’re with us, that means you’re abandoning using these terrible terms.

Why did this become a thing? It sounds like a mother who is telling her daughter about her vagina but is too embarrassed to say the actual word.

Similar to hoo-ha, we can’t quite understand where this came from, except mothers or aunts who were “talking shop” around the kitchen table and trying to speak in code.

We can’t stop our eyes from rolling when we hear this outdated term. Let’s not even use this word when referring to Daisy Dukes.

To the best of our recollection, it seems like we owe Grey’s Anatomy’s Dr. Bailey for this ridiculous nickname. As soon as she said it, people immediately latched on… and we immediately cringed.

What even does this mean? “Down there” is pretty vague. Technically, anything south of your mouth is considered “down there.”

Is this another directional reference? Or should we take bottom to mean “butt?”

This isn’t the worst offender. We’re actually guilty of using this one from time-to-time. Still. What’s so wrong with saying “vagina?”

What are you, a trucker from the ’70s? This is not okay.

How is it any less awkward to say “vagina” than it is to say “snatch?”

While it’s not as offensive as some of the words used for the vagina, “flower” still makes us roll our eyes.

It’s obvious where this originated, but using a slightly less offensive version doesn’t, in fact, make it any less raunchy.

Is it wrong to blame the dead for the prevalence of this vaginal reference? We’re pretty sure it’s all Kurt Cobain’s fault.

Can we just agree that any food references when talking about your vagina are a little awkward and super gross?

Uh, thanks? On the surface, this name is actually pretty sweet. (Pun intended.) We’d rather our knights in rusty armor refer to our vaginas by this name instead of some of the other ones they tend to use. But it’s pretty cliché.

See what we’re getting at? While some nicknames for your vagina may seem flattering at surface level, we still think it seems pretty unflattering to meet someone incapable of using the proper, medical term without blushing. So, let’s buck up, be adults and take back our vaginas by calling them by their proper name.

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