Going to the gyno is never a glamorous mission. The same position that makes you feel like a sex goddess in the bedroom makes you feel like an experiment to be poked and prodded in the gynecologist’s office. But no matter how embarrassed you are when the speculum is unleashed, there’s always someone who has had it worse than you. We found these red-faced stories from around the web that make us happy we weren’t in their position.
Photo credit: Svetlana Khvorostova / Hemera / 360
We thought our yearly gyno visit was awkward until we read these hilarious stories on Reddit. We’ve grabbed our favorites below. Get ready for some serious secondhand embarrassment.
Sometimes, during our favorite holidays, we express our merriment in every way possible. Cute, until the gynecologist finds out.
“Shaved the hair down there in a heart for hubby for Valentine’s Day. Didn’t think much about it ’til my pap smear the next day when my female gyno says, ‘How festive.'”
Warn me first!
Being a pap smear newb is never fun, but it’s especially horrifying when you get a little surprise. Awkwardlady (fitting name, no?) tells us all about it.
“So… I went to the gynecologist today for a wellness exam. I started out pretty nervous because this would be my first pap smear… and sex has been pretty painful and not really possible, so I figured this wouldn’t be very comfortable.
“Like I thought, it was rather uncomfortable and awkward but whatever, I got through it, no big deal. So we’re finishing up and she does a ‘Surprise! Rectal exam too!’ and jammed a finger up there without any warning.”
Going to the gyno can be intimidating and stress-inducing. Prepare to relax unless you want to have a thoroughly uncomfortable exchange with your doctor, like when Mementomori’s gynecologist said, “Relax, you’re going to break my speculum.”
“The next time, I did break the speculum,” she writes. “(It was plastic, not metal!)”
We know that doctors are supposed to watch out for our well-being, but this story from kleenexwarrior makes us wish they would sometimes keep their thoughts to themselves.
“My doctor walked into the room and said ‘What happened to your knees?’ which was fine because she was a medical doctor and probably wanted to make sure I wasn’t injured. I told her I had just fallen down and rubbed my knees. So the exam continues like normal, and as soon as she gets the speculum in, she exclaimed, ‘Well! It must have been a h*** of a fall to bruise the inside of your vagina like this!’ Done.”
Keeping it tight
Keeping the nether regions ‘tight’ can be a point of pride for some ladies. Redditor theprochodile talks about the strangest compliment she’s ever received.
“Hmm, I’m really having a difficult time getting this in,” her gynecologist said. “That must be enjoyable for your man.”
“Then she finished with ‘Well, best vagina I’ve seen all week. Keep it up.’ I blushed hard.”
You’re a beauty!
We ladies spend a lot of time keeping our hair, skin and makeup looking on point. Others have a much more… natural beauty.
A Reddit user with an appropriate username said her doctor stated the following:
“That I have ‘the most beautiful cervix’ they’ve ever seen. She went on and on about how ‘pink and smooth and firm’ it is,” user A_Beautiful_Cervix wrote. “I was thoroughly creeped, and somewhat flattered. She just wouldn’t shut up about it!”
Never an uncomfortable moment, sponsored by Sanuk.