There’s an old adage that says you need to learn to love yourself before you can love someone else. That’s solid advice, but for a lot of us, it’s hard to do. Here are 20 ways to show yourself some love.
Need a Valentine? Look in the mirror!
You’re smarter and more beautiful than you give yourself credit for. This year, focus on loving yourself!
Follow your heart
Sometimes, “crazy” is good if it means you’re happy. Stop listening to everyone else’s opinion on that cross-country move or big career change. What’s your heart telling you to do?
Be your own hero
You know what we love about Holly Golightly? The mirror in her mailbox. She knew she’d still be lining her lips on the way out the door, so she figured out how to make it easier.
Yes, you are the most reliable of your friends — but let someone else pick up your tipsy bestie from her boyfriend’s bar sometimes.
There’s nothing you can do to fix that time (three months ago) when you said “self-defecating” instead of “self-deprecating.” Let it go.
Does the “it” book center on a weak, clingy and dependent girl? That’s all the more reason to read it and recognize your level of awesome!
See yourself through your
kids’/pets’/loved one’s eyes
Your son thinks you’re a superhero, you are the center of your dog’s world and your cat trusts you for the best belly rubs. Soak up the unconditional love.
Focus on fit, not on size
Of course, you have to look at the numbers. However, instead of focusing on weight gain, notice how good it looks when you wear the right size of clothing for your body. Life hack: Pull a size or two bigger the first time. Going back for a smaller size is an amazing feeling.
Going into debt will not make you love yourself more — but using your leftover holiday bonus to buy that lovely new Philosophy perfume or get a new pair of Toms? Completely acceptable.
Own your role in your
group of girlfriends
There is always an adventurous one, a funny one, a successful one etc. Find your role and bask in it.
Whether you pay for someone else to give you a mani/pedi or you just devote a night to DIY beauty, find time for yourself.
Eat both halves
You don’t always have to split dessert. Eat the whole dang thing if you want.
Bask in others’ drama
Nearly all aspects of The Real Housewives of Desperate County‘s lives are entirely ludicrous to a middle-class female. We’ve all wished for more money, a bigger house or a better wardrobe. But do we want the kind of drama that seems to come with those things?
Keep track of your accomplishments
Keep the anti–Bridget Jones’s Diary. Each day, write down all the stuff you nailed, owned or slayed.
Find the idol within
Is Mindy Kaling one of your career heroes? Instead of wishing you were as confident as she is, recognize that you’re already just as witty or insightful. And understand that your daughter already wishes she were as smart as you are.
“Take care of” yourself
Manis and pedis are awesome, but that’s not what we mean. Instead of waiting around for date night, take matters into your own — ahem — hands. Everyone loves a girl who knows what she wants, right?
Be realistic. If you’ve never run a mile in your life, maybe you shouldn’t sign up for a local 5k. But do try to get to the point where you can run a sustained mile within a month, or promise yourself that you’ll learn to crochet and make a super-cute blanket for your future nephew’s crib by his April due date.
Pay someone else to do it
So, you can’t afford a cleaning lady every week. However, you might be able to hire someone once a month. Or maybe you can stop doing your own work clothes and splurge to send them to someone else to launder and deliver.
Would your mother gasp if you went without stockings? Do it. Unleashing your inner rebel, even in minor ways, is guaranteed to make you appreciate yourself for trying something new — or (as it might turn out) having known better all along.
the benefit of the doubt
Next time you think some hottie is scoping you out, don’t immediately list 10 reasons why he’s probably not. Just go with it.
Kick Debbie Downer
to the curb
Whether it’s a former BFF or your alter ego, don’t let the naysayer ruin your day.