Every decade learns something about love. Love is a complicated topic and one that we all make assumptions about — some of which are way off. This week we’re looking at a few of the things 20-somethings think they know about love.
That love is easy to find
When you’re in your 20s, there’s a sense of having an endless amount of time — to find the perfect job, find the perfect man, do all of the things that might be on your bucket list. But as you get older, time speeds up, and the time you thought you had, has a tendency to slip away without you even noticing. We’re not suggesting 20-somethings focus solely on finding a relationship and settling down, but love doesn’t come knocking once a month. Finding someone you really click with, who is on the same page as you are, who likes you for you and who you see yourself being with for the long haul isn’t always as easy as you want it to be.
That there’s no work required
No matter what you see on television, or in the movies, all relationships take effort, but when you’re younger you don’t always believe that. There’s a certain cavalier attitude about love when you’re in your 20s and a belief that if it’s right, it will never require any real work. The thing about relationships, however, is that if you don’t regularly check in with your significant other and you don’t seek out ways to ensure you and your partner stay connected, there’s no guarantee your relationship will last.
That they can change a person
One of the biggest relationship myths that plagues all women, but especially those who are in their 20s, is that you have the power to change a person. Everyone learns something new depending on who they’re dating and when, but no matter how in love you think you are, you will never be able to fundamentally alter a person’s behavior or personality (trust us, we’ve tried). What some 20-somethings need to understand is that real love means you appreciate a person for who they are now, not who you hope they’ll become.
That the right person will meet all of their needs
As much as it would be ideal to meet someone who is perfect in all areas you need him to be perfect in (he cooks, he’s great in bed, he gets along great with your parents, he’s got a great job), Mr. Right might not tick all the boxes. But that doesn’t mean he’s not your ideal match. So many music videos, TV shows and movies promise a love that is so big and so powerful that it becomes everything you ever needed, but having someone meet all of your needs isn’t always the reality.
They’ll be happy as soon as they meet Mr. Right
This is a big one — so many women, especially younger women, believe that once the perfect guy comes along they’ll be happy. Meeting someone great is a huge mood booster, but the problem is you won’t meet him until you’re happy with yourself. The belief that Mr. Right is the answer to all of life’s problems is a lie and one that needs to stop being perpetuated. Love yourself first and the rest will always follow.