Exploring some out-of-the-box ways to have sex is a great way to keep things new and fresh. If you and your partner are going the way of BDSM, it’s important to come up with a safe word. By saying this safe word, your partner understands that you’ve reached your limit and that you’d like the activity — and the role playing — to stop.
Readers reveal: What’s your safe word?
Here are some actual safe words that active BDSM couples (and also those just trying it out now and then!) are using:
Cheryl and Monty, Pennsylvania
Our sex life is actually pretty rough. Once we started exploring the world of BDSM, there was no turning back to ‘plain ol’ boring’ sex. We’ve built out our basement into something that mirrors Christian Grey’s vision of the perfect sexual setting… we’ve just been doing it longer than him! [insert wink face here] Our safe word is PIE. We came up with it when we decided that if we wanted to stop ever, it should be easy as PIE.
Cara L., Washington
I’m an escort and I’m proud of it. I don’t like to call myself anything but that. Of course, many of my nights end in sexcapades. In recent times, I’ve noticed that a lot more men are requesting that I be a submissive, while they’re my dominant. Having read Fifty Shades of Grey, the request is definitely something that concerned me. I didn’t want to be scared for my safety. After all, a safe word is only as safe as the person you’re with — and so you have to be able to trust your partner. I recognize this sentiment seems silly given my profession, but it’s the reason I don’t take on new BDSM clients. I build relationships with my current clientele and only then do I make it a consideration. For that reason, my safe word is “lucky” — because that’s what the man is if I’ve agreed to be submissive.
Tiffany K., New Jersey
Hubby and I love to role play. I was the catalyst for this after reading Fifty Shades of Grey. We tried it out a few times and got really into it, going so far as to buy new sex toys and outfits. I’d say we play around at least once a month to keep things interesting! Our safe word is ‘playground’ because we think it’s hilarious.
Lindsey D., New Mexico
I’ve been sexually active since I was 14 years old and I’ve been in some pretty compromising sexual positions, so to speak. Let’s put it this way: I think all of the hype around Fifty Shades of Grey is nothing compared to what would happen if people read my story. I’m not trying to show off, I’m just telling the truth. I LOVE being submissive. I get off on being dominated. I think it’s because I’m such a control freak in general and the dichotomy of yearning for a complete lack of control in the bedroom is thrilling. My safe word is ‘heartbeat’ because it’s something you don’t have control over.
Thalia P., New York
My husband is the submissive in our sexual relationship. I like it because no one would ever, ever guess that such is the case. If anything, he’s very strong, bold and extremely type-A. So much so, that I myself was shocked the night he asked to experiment with BDSM. I thought it would be for me to be the submissive. In any event, we’ve been having a great time and it’s really influenced our relationship in a positive way. Our safe word is ‘lollipop’ because it’s cute and innocent.
What’s your safe word? Share in the comments below!