You don’t have to follow in the footsteps of Christian Grey and Anastasia Steele to have a little fun experimenting in the bedroom! Sex toys can add a whole new dimension to your relationship and make your bond that much stronger, believe it or not.
What couple doesn’t crave even more enjoyable sex!? “Everyone could use more sex — it’s a good thing,” says Stacy Rybchin of My Secret Luxury. “Sex toys help couples to spice things up and have a variety of exciting experiences in the bedroom. If your sexual attitude is playful, then your sexual relationship will be more satisfying.”
Did you know that about 75 percent of women can’t reach orgasm through penetrative sex and nearly 50 percent have faked the “Big O” at least once? According to Rybchin, it’s true! “If you use sex toys, your chances of reaching an orgasm increase dramatically. Most women need clitoral stimulation to orgasm. That’s why sex toys (vibrators especially) are an excellent way to help you climax.” And clearly, the best sex includes an orgasm for each partner, right?
A lot of men may feel replaced and inadequate when sex toys are used in the bedroom; however, others feel that the pressure is off them to perform, explains relationship expert and author April Masini of AskApril.com. This can definitely enhance your relationship. Go slowly. “If you think your partner is going to be nervous or reject your suggestion of using a sex toy, don’t pop it out of a box after you’re both naked. Start talking about it little by little in non-sexual scenarios, like over coffee in a coffee shop,” she suggests. “And don’t present it as an all or nothing proposition. There is nothing that feels more like sexual pressure than a partner who says, ‘OK, here’s what we’re doing next.’”
Many women hate their bodies, which can sometimes cause intimacy issues, points out Rybchin. “Using sex toys during mutual masturbation or sex can reduce the anxiety of being naked and help create more intimacy.” If your partner isn’t feeling it, allow rejection of a sexual aid or sex toy, but don’t give up, recommends Masini. “Let the person rejecting the sexual aid or toy feel that they have power in their rejection. And do be prepared to drop the idea altogether. Don’t be afraid to bring it up again in a couple of weeks in a different way as a possibility though,” she says. “For example, when your partner is in a good mood or happy about something you’ve been generous about, remind him or her that you’d really like to try a certain thing, just once, whenever they say they’re ready.”