When it comes to orgasms, does it matter whether it’s a solo orgasm through masturbation or a partnered orgasm through coupled sexual activity?
According to Nicole Daedone, author of Slow Sex: The Art and Craft of the Female Orgasm, the key to enhancing your orgasms is through a partnered activity called orgasmic meditation, or OMing.
The practice of orgasmic meditating
OMing is the use of mindfulness meditation with a focus on finger to genital contact. The act of “OM” involves a 15-minute session where a woman experiences simple meditative stroking of the upper left quadrant of the clitoris by her partner. OMing is practiced in pairs, with the partner stroking the genitals of the other, and both focusing their attention on the sensation with the stated goal of developing connection and emotional resonance.
Why? This deeply links the limbic regions of their brains to enhance their attachment and security as a couple while improving her orgasmic response. Research in the Orgasm Lab at Rutgers University confirms that activity like this between partners produces a more intense, satisfying orgasm than one produced by solo-stimulation.
How it benefits couples
The focus of orgasmic meditation is on the female orgasm through subtle and deliberate stimulation of the clitoris. Both partners, however, can presumably share in the sensation and fulfillment. The finger of the partner becomes a sex organ. OMing is a method that can help women overcome trauma, difficulties with orgasm, sexual pain, sexual dysfunction and help alleviate barriers to sexual satisfaction with her partner.
OM is a mindfulness practice that strengthens the mind-body connection while slowing down sex and improving intimacy with couples. This is because the mindfulness meditation of “OM” brings about a different default brain state.
How it improves your orgasm
There are many structures in the brain that are activated during orgasm which result in the release of two important “feel-good” chemicals, dopamine and oxytocin.
Orgasm induced by partner-stimulation correlates with decreased blood flow to the frontal cortex of the brain, and self-stimulation creates an increase in frontal cortex activation. The major difference between the two is that with a partner in control, the woman is able to take the frontal cortex out of the sequence and “go involuntary” which allows the autonomic nervous system to stimulate the limbic system and produce a greater surge of oxytocin and dopamine as a result.
This gives a more intense orgasmic result and greater bonding potential between the couple. Orgasmic meditation encompasses more than just orgasm and encourages greater emotional awareness, connected relationships and sense of fulfillment.