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When it comes to radically embracing pleasure, the sexual revolution is fully underway, yet some of us are still a little shy about making that first big sex toy purchase.
It’s totally understandable — getting your first vibrator can be intimidating, especially given how many options there are. But most toys are far less complicated than they seem, and once you get one, you’ll wonder what you were stressing about.
Here are some quick-and-dirty shopping tips to guide beginners buying their first vibrator.
Take it slow
If you’re a newbie, you’re probably not going to want to start by bringing a gigantic piece of equipment into your life. Start small and simple, experiment on your own and then work your way up to something with more bells and whistles.
Sure, if you go into a brick and mortar sex shop, you get the benefit of a salesperson in the store steering you toward some location favorites, but it’s also likely you’ll feel a little inhibited and won’t want to take your time examining each item.
If you shop online, you have a huge selection, and you don’t have to worry about anyone peering over your shoulder. Go to websites that are really great at providing educational/expert information with their toys, like Babeland, Good Vibrations, Ella Paradis or Lovehoney. Some sites even give you the option to chat with a live representative who can answer your questions.
“It doesn’t hurt to buy a sex toy book, which can guide you with all of your options and how to use them safely while maximizing pleasure,” says Astroglide’s sexual health and wellness ambassador and sex expert, Dr. Yvonne Fulbright.
Don’t forget the lube
As with most sexual encounters, lube makes everything better when you’re experimenting with toys. Either solo or with partners.
“No matter what, for a number of toys, the best and easiest use involves at least a couple of drops of lubricant for comfort,” says Fulbright.
Your first vibe
If you’re on the market for your first sex toy, a vibrator is your best bet.
“Vibrators are always great for beginners because they’re not only simple and easy to use, but they’re versatile and can create different sensations for different people based on what speed is used and where you put it,” says Dr. Jane Greer, marriage and family therapist.
Also, they’re great for self-pleasure as well as for being pleasured by your partner. Be open to discovery and trying new things with your partner, and be OK with the fact that your partner may not enjoy a toy you really like — you might have to move on to something else that you both enjoy.
Here are some of our favorites:
Adam & Eve’s Slim Pink Pleaser Vibrator
Perfect for beginners and those who are more experienced, this super-affordable vibe with adjustable speeds is waterproof and perfect for foreplay.
Stylecaster x Betterlove Stella
Our sisters at Stylecaster have impeccable taste and the vibrator they designed with Better Love is totally worth the hype. A totally non-intimidating clitoral stimulator that gives some oral-like stimulation is a great option for beginners.
I love recommending Enigma for beginners who aren’t sure what exactly they’re into necessarily. With a combo of suction and penetration, it delivers on all the different sensations a beginner could be looking for.
LELO Lyla 2 Vibrator
A great way to get a partner involved in the experience is with a remote-controlled vibrator
. This egg vibrator can be used both internally and externally and is waterproof and rechargeable.
A Magic Wand
A classic magic wand vibrator is a must-have for folks who want non-penetrative toys that have tons of power. With options to plug in to the wall, you can forget about worrying about batteries and instead zero in entirely on intense sensations.
A version of this story was published March 2017.
Before you go, check out our picks of the 69 sex positions you need to try before you die: