“I don’t get what the big deal is — all of our friends are getting married!”
Sound familiar? If nagging your partner to marry you (and then arguing about marriage) has become a pattern in your relationship, then you need to stop. Immediately. Here are four big reasons why you should stop obsessing about getting hitched and start putting things in perspective.
If getting married has been a source of tension in your relationship, all that pressure may spoil it if he actually proposes. Instead of jumping for joy together, there’s a big chance that you’ll both just be relieved that it’s all over and you can stop fighting about it. You also don’t want to be wondering whether he proposed because you nagged him.
For most of us, the natural reaction to being nagged to do something is to dig in our heels and not do it. By pestering your partner to marry you, you run the risk of making him want to avoid the issue entirely. You’ll also end up looking slightly crazy and desperate (e.g. not marriage material). If he is planning to propose, your nagging may turn something that should be an exciting experience for him (figuring out the where, when and how of popping the question) into a chore.
The bigger picture
If you’re spending all your time obsessing about getting married, chances are you’re losing sight of the bigger picture. Focusing on what you think is “missing” from your life can prevent you from seeing (and appreciating) what you do have. Losing perspective will not only put strain on your relationship, it’ll also make you unhappy. Just remember: You may not have a ring on your finger (yet), but you have a partner who loves you. Now that’s something to focus on.
If you’re nagging because you can’t stop thinking about how exciting it would be to be a bride, you may be setting yourself up for some major disappointment once the glamour of the big day is over. Weddings are amazing, but marriage is not (repeat: not) about the wedding day itself. Becoming a “Mr. and Mrs.” is a huge commitment and it’s not always a smooth ride (those “for richer and for poorer” vows are there for a reason). If you’re craving that wedding-day excitement, you need to step back and think about what marriage really means.
Once you stop pestering him to propose, you’ll be amazed at how good it feels! After all, that crazy marriage pressure is doing you both more harm than good. Here’s a hint: Let him know you’re grateful just to have him in your life.