Ahhhh… the most loved and hated holiday is right around the corner… Valentine’s Day! If you’re single or in a brand new relationship, trying to navigate the forever awkward pressure of the most romantic holiday can be a real pain. Here’s how to turn it into a blast, or for you ladies who are paired up with those man-friends, enjoy it even more!
Your questions answered
“I just went through a breakup and now it’s Valentine’s, what do I do to not be a total Debbie Downer!?!”
Besides pretending that everything is OK and that you really don’t care about this “stupid holiday” anyway? Grab your favorite girlfriends and head straight to your favorite wine bar. All of the couples are going to be out at restaurants, so this is perfect to spend time with your single girls and drink some fabulous vino (responsibly of course!). Try not to take things too seriously or dwell on the obvious because you are not going to feel any better the more you obsess about what you don’t have for the overpressured holiday!
“We just started dating and don’t know if we should celebrate?”
This is a boy job! Allow him to ask YOU. Hopefully he will either be clear that it is sooo awkward to plan something or he will be excited to spend some time with you. If he doesn’t say anything at all, isn’t that great information that you may want to consider dating someone else? Girls, you have to let your man lead this holiday. Do not, I repeat, do not make the plans for this day. Allowing the guy to take control will give you lots of good information about how he plans, how he takes care of you (or doesn’t!), how he complains about having to plan, blah, blah blah! You just started dating, so lower your expectations because something over the top might totally freak you out too! Simple, genuine gestures to show you that you are on his mind would make for the sweetest day with a new crush.
“I’m single and hate my life on Valentine’s. Advice?”
Get a therapist and figure out why you hate your life! Life is way too short, hun.
“I just had a baby. How can I feel sexy again and spice up the bedroom?”
Well, if you’re like most girls that are knocked up, your hubby hasn’t been getting any action for a while anyway, so he’s going to be super excited with any initiation for some sexy time. Your willingness, effort and desire are going to be super attractive to him, so you don’t have to overdo it. Most important is that you are genuinely engaged and enjoying the moment with your man, reconnecting after being completely exhausted and depleted from caring for that baby!
“I’m expecting a proposal on Valentine’s Day. If he doesn’t pop the question, should I dump him?”
Absolutely. And then he should dump you because you just ruined your own proposal!
“I’m on a tight budget but know my boyfriend is going to go all out… how can I express my love and appreciation for him without breaking the bank?”
Show him how much you care by doing something sweet that is personal! He already knows you’re broke, and if you cook him his favorite meal, buy him a book that he is wanting, frame a favorite picture as a surprise, leave him his favorite cookies at the office, etc., he will truly know that you are crazy about him!
For the grand finale….
5 Tips for the single gals on Valentine’s Day
- Drink wine, but don’t whine. Enjoy your time with your girlfriends, but remember that complaining about what you don’t have can be super annoying to everyone around you, especially on this day!
- Know that there is always someone right around the corner, even when you’re feeling hopeless.
- Go have fun, and make fun of the day! Don’t be so serious!!!
- It’s just one day.
- Yes, someday you will be a bride and not just a bridesmaid. But don’t settle just because you want a date for every Valentine’s Day.
Dr. Lyndsay Elliott is one of Southern California’s most prominent psychologists in her field of expertise. Dr. Lyndsay maintains her clinical practice in Newport Beach, California. As a food and body image expert for the last 15 years, Dr. Lyndsay is known for her breakthrough work with children, teens and young adults. She particularly enjoys consulting with parents to help develop a healthy self-image for their children. Dr. Lyndsay empowers individuals with her ease, strength and experience, ultimately propelling her patients into a new arena of growth, control and balanced living. Check out Dr. Lyndsay’s daily tips and blog at www.DrLyndsayElliott.com, on Twitter @DrLyndsay and Facebook at Dr. LyndsayElliott, Inc.