Ego has a role in spoiling many relationships, and it’s not just a problem with people who are dating. Ego can ruin friendships and put a wedge between family members, too. If you have had a string of unsuccessful relationships, you need to let go of your ego and take a step forward toward true happiness.
Ego vs. self-esteem
Being egotistical is generally considered negative, while having high levels of self-esteem is positive. So, what’s the difference? An egotistical person’s self-worth is driven by external factors — primarily feedback from others. A person with high self-esteem’s sense of self-worth is determined by internal factors such as passion, belief or personal vision.
People with big egos are often insecure and trying to cover up those insecurities by pretending to be important or better than everyone else. Those with big egos lack confidence and self-love. Conversely, those with high self-esteem have confidence in their own abilities, know their shortcomings and love themselves.
We all have an ego. However, we must learn how to control it. If you let your ego go unchecked, it can cause tremendous turmoil in your life — particularly with your partner or spouse. Negative feelings, such as anger, resentment, fear and jealousy are all products of the ego.
Learn about these six ways to boost your self-esteem >>
Oftentimes a person will remain in a bad relationship because her ego won’t allow her to accept that her judgment of her partner’s character was wrong. This is common when a person is being cheated on. The ego is bruised and we can’t accept that we are less attractive or less desirable than our partner’s mistress. It can’t be true that we invested years into a relationship that isn’t working out. Our ego won’t allow us to accept it. So, we hang on to the relationship to prove that we are worthy to be in it. In order to move on, a person needs to let go of her ego and free herself from an unhealthy relationship.
When your boyfriend is out with his friends, does your mind go wild with thoughts about what he’s doing? Jealousy and ego can be very destructive. If you obsess on those thoughts running through your mind, by the time your boyfriend comes home, you can convince yourself that he’s cheating on you. Of course, an argument will ensue and your boyfriend will be frustrated about the accusations. If the pattern repeats, he will become resentful and eventually want out of the relationship — all because of a fictitious story that you allowed your ego to create in your head.
Read more about how to be less jealous >>
For the egotist, being right all the time is closely associated with feeling worthy. Therefore, those who can’t let go of their egos do and say anything they can to always be right. Unfortunately, this happens at the expense of everything else. The desire to always be right can ruin relationships with co-workers, bosses, siblings, relatives and spouses. At some point, you need to realize that the false self-worth that you get from sticking to your guns and “being right” doesn’t outweigh true happiness.
Fear of rejection
Whether it’s asking for a promotion at work or introducing yourself to a new guy at the gym, fear of rejection can be what stops you from achieving your goals. If you let go of your ego and those fears, you can live your life without limits and achieve a lot more. To combat the fear of rejection, you need to love yourself and know that you deserve positivity in your life. You must accept that life isn’t without failures. In some scenarios, you may get rejected 90 percent of the time, but that doesn’t mean you don’t have a chance at success.
Gaining control of your ego is the best thing that you can do for yourself. If you can’t put your ego aside and let it go, you’ll continue to have unsuccessful, destructive and unhappy relationships.