Advice on online love

The unknown often multiplies a person’s fears. When it comes to online love, unfortunately, there can be a lot of unknown factors involved. How do you protect yourself? If you do find the one online, how do you make it work? To help answer these questions and more we asked Loving You users in online relationships to share their thoughts and concerns about online love. Below are a few of their responses.

Words of wisdom for online lovers…

Meeting Someone Online

“Be sure you know they are single.” -Catherine

“Make sure that you know all that you can about them before you meet them. Also, if you DO meet them, then meet them in a public place. I did it and so far it has worked out for me and my love!!” -Anonymous

“Be very careful and take things slow; ask a lot of questions.” -Eve

“Be yourself and don’t lie about anything because they will find out sooner or later.” -Sammy

“Well, my advice would be to take things at a pace that you feel right and that you’re comfortable with! My boyfriend and I spent a lot of time on the phone before we met and chatting on the net too, it all helps to get an idea of who they are! Once we had met, we both made a point to have lots of contact and phone calls, and e-mails and visits as often as possible! The way I look at it now is that I have fallen in love with a man who I know probably better than anyone because we have spent so much time talking and being HONEST with each other!” -Bubble

“Don’t count on it too much. You never know if there will be the chemistry in real life as it is online. So just take your time.” -Bethany

“Don’t expect perfection. This is a real person with some flaws and imperfections. When I met my love he was older than his photo, but when I looked in those beautiful brown eyes, I was lost. He was not perfect, but his heart was golden.” -Phyllis

“Be truthful, honest, and patient with the person. Never try to ‘sugar-coat’ things–like your past and your looks. If your relationship is meant to be, they will love you for who you are, not what you are or what you look like. My boyfriend and I fell in love months before we even met in person. That just made it even more special. Falling in love online is possible. We are living proof. Remember, you have a lifetime to get to know each other. Enjoy it!” -Dawn

“I have dated several men from online and so far have met some really nice people. I suggest that you chat with them for several weeks. Everyone is always at their best when you first start to chat, but after awhile you can get a pretty good idea about the person. If you seem to click then I suggest you meet for coffee in a public place. I have been dating someone for three months that I met online, but I did not meet him until we had talked for a few months. Don’t be in a hurry. If they are interested they will respect your caution.” -Kathie

“Treat your relationship as if it was real and don’t think of it as a fantasy. Remember you are dealing with another person’s feelings. Be open and honest at all times. Don’t be afraid to ask what your heart desires, this is the only way to determine if your lover wants the same things as you.” -Ron

“Take it one step at a time. It is easy to get caught up in the emotions at first, but it can last and be a wonderful thing. Keep your head up and look at the positive, but be aware of any signs that could tell you that this person is not who they say they are. Be honest and ask that your partner be honest as well. Trust and communication are the key elements, without those you cannot have love, or at least true love.” -Jason

“Be weary of personal ads that seem too good to be true. If he is dating you online, how many others is he also dating and when you meet, will they continue? I found out that the person I’ve been seeing for 6 months has other online personals, although he acts as if we are in a serious one-on-one relationship. Watch your back!” -Anonymous

“Take things one step at a time. So many people seem to get carried away too soon, and others even are convinced they will marry this person they haven’t even met yet. Don’t get your hopes up too high before you’ve met in person. It’d be awful to find out you didn’t have the right chemistry in person. Online relationships can work out–next month I’m marrying a man I met online. We didn’t plan our future until 4 months into our relationship when we’d met twice for a couple of weeks at a time.” -Jennie

Making The Relationship Work

“I would tell them to be aware that people aren’t who they appear to be, and to those who are in a long term online relationship, stick with it.” -Me

“Be honest always, and be considerate of the other person’s feelings. When you’re not going to be there, leave a message, so that the other person doesn’t wait all night for you.” -Roada

“I am now married to my online love. The best advice that I can give to someone in this situation is to take it one day at a time. Don’t let the stress of being apart day after day let you forget the most important thing your love for each other.” -Mary

“Be prepared for a very difficult time of your life, yet very meaningful. It’s a very hard choice to make, and takes the right kind of people to make it successful. Also, know that after the one of you moves, there will be the issue of homesickness for the person who moved away, and the idea of that person feeling like they gave their all to be with you. So, just because you make it to the finish line, doesn’t mean the trying times end. It’s a soul mate’s journey, but it’s a lot of work.” -Shell

“Be honest, show your love the best you can. Say, ‘I love you’ with feeling in your heart, and every thing you say, you have to mean from the bottom of your heart.” -Kevin

“If your love is true, never give up, love is something you never give up on, no matter the distance.” -Robert

“My advice would be to not say or do anything online that they would, or might, feel uncomfortable doing in person. Treat the relationship as a reality. Big advice; do not underestimate the power of cyber love!! I used to until it happened to me.” -Dana

“Be there for each other when you say you will be–there is nothing worse than waiting and wondering.” -Spiritgirl

“My advice would be to stick with it. Just like any other relationship, if you want to be with that person or spend your life with them, it will happen. I believe that online relationships are great. Some people say they aren’t possible, but you have to believe in the relationship and want it bad enough to work. Anything is possible, and don’t let anyone tell you differently.” -Anniastayshia

“Try to be with each other as much as possible, and always send your partner a little kiss every now and then. Call them whenever you can to tell them you love them, and give them no reason to ever let you go.” -Kasey

Final Thoughts…

“Ignore everything that everyone tells you, and follow your heart.” -Cecily