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20 Self-help questions critical to a happy marriage

Looking to improve your relationship? Here’s a simple solution: getting together once a week to talk about anything other than babies, money or chores. Authors Jeff and Lora Helton have some tips for you.

Couple kissing each other over coffee

50 Fridays Marriage Challenge

If you’re in a committed relationship and you find yourself drifting away from your partner, know that the key to rekindling your relationship is the spoken word. That’s right, talking!

The 50 Fridays Marriage Challenge by Jeff and Lora Helton is a book that couples can use in their own time in their own homes. The central element of each chapter is a question specifically designed to spark open and honest conversation, the idea being that if you set time aside every Friday to commit to having an intimate and honest conversation, you may be able to ignite your spark again.

We got to chat with the authors about the critical questions that could save your relationship.

The new 20 questions

  • 1. What things make you laugh out loud?
  • 2. What are some behaviors that your partner does that help you feel loved?
  • 3. What hobbies or activities do you enjoy doing together? What other things would you like to do together?
  • 4. What specific changes would you like to see that could help grow a more intimate, pleasurable and satisfying sex life?
  • 5. What is your “wildest dream” vacation? (Don’t worry about the cost, logistics or reality problems … remember, it’s a dream vacation!)
  • 6. Where do different expectations create challenges in your relationship?
  • 7. What physical characteristic of your spouse do you most enjoy?
  • 8. What does your relationship communicate about love and intimacy to those people who are closest to you?
  • 9. What are some things that you enjoy doing together outside?
  • 10. What does the perfect date night look like? Be very specific with your answer: from how it begins, to where you would go and what you would do, to how it ends!
  • 11. What was your greatest excitement this past week? What was your greatest challenge?
  • 12. What are three strengths of your relationship? What’s one area where you would like to see growth?
  • 13. Name something you’ve never done, but would like to try. Why does it appeal to you? What’s kept you from trying it?
  • 14. If you could only spend $10 on a date night, what would you do?
  • 15. If you only had one day left on earth, what would you say to your partner? What would you want to do with him or her?
  • 16. How do you make a decision when you disagree?
  • 17. How are you at apologizing when you’ve messed up? Where do you need to grow in the area of forgiveness?
  • 18. If you were given $10,000 and you could only invest it in the life of someone else to encourage them, how would you spend it?
  • 19. What’s one thing your partner does that makes you feel safe in sharing your thoughts and feelings?
  • 20. What are three things that happened this past week and what did you feel about them?

Want more?

You can purchase Jeff and Lora’s book here.

More marriage advice

How to grow as a couple
3 Ways to boost your bond
4 Long-term love myths… busted

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