Why is it that some couples seem so in love and so happy together, even those in long-term relationships? We asked couples to share their unique secrets to having a successful marriage — and the answers may surprise you!
We go to school for a good chunk of our lives in order to prepare for a career, yet never once do we get training in the biggest, most challenging aspect of our lives — our marriage.
The reality is that most of the problems we face in our adult lives will stem from relationships, not work. To avoid this, we need to be prepared and we need to be willing to work — both hard and daily — at our relationships. Here, couples who have been successfully married for quite some time are letting us in on their secrets to a happy, loving, committed relationship.
Vas bonds with her husband
We do three things that make us successful: We have a hobby together (ours is drawing comics), we have our alone time and will both admit we don’t like spending 24/7 together (this allows us to look forward to going to bed together every night), and when all else fails, we take a bath in our two-person tub. It’s hard to be mad at someone when surrounded by candles soaking in warm water!
Cynthia and her husband share compassion
Cynthia and her husband show each other compassion by putting themselves in each other’s shoes and understanding where the other person is coming from. They make eye contact and touch each other when talking and they’re also vulnerable with each other — discussing their worst fears with each other and supporting one another.
Justin and his wife act like children together
Justin, a wedding expert, thinks of every night with his wife as a sleepover where they talk for hours on end and can’t fall asleep. They also go to the park together, wrestle, go to zoos and water parks, tickle each other and visit the fair. He believes having a successful marriage is all about keeping it fun!
Mark acts like he’s still dating his wife
Mark believes successful marriages are all about putting the other person first. To do this easily, simply ask, “What would I do if we were still dating?” This question can be applied to multiple scenarios ranging from doing the dishes, seeing the other person’s car needs cleaning or knowing how to respond when the other person comes home tired and cranky. It’s all about perspective and meeting your spouse’s needs.
More little tips to have a rockin’ marriage
- Go out to eat two to three times per month and crack jokes and flirt! — Lucinda
- Ask “How was your day?” every single day, no exceptions. — Maggie
- Flirt — send a sexy text message, leave a love note or buy a box of chocolates and Champagne! — Michelle
- No phones/technology after 7 p.m. and no phones in the bedroom! — Ruthie
- Read The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman and learn your spouse’s love language. — Leslie
- Make a conscious effort to give your spouse the best of you each day. Appreciate them, say “thank you” and offer to help them whenever necessary. — Elizabeth
- I call my wife a few times during the day just to check in and see if she needs anything. It keeps us connected even when we’re apart. — Josh
What makes your relationship successful? Share in the comments below!