Double the ingredients and mold biscuits into the size of watermelons. Enjoy at your own risk.
- 3 cups flour
- 2 tablespoons baking powder
- 3/4 teaspoons salt
- 1 cup heavy cream
- Preheat the oven to 425 degrees F. Grease a baking sheet.
- Sift the flour, baking powder and salt together. Mix in the cream, only enough to dampen the dough.
- Knead on a lightly floured board for 10 to 12 strokes. Roll out to 1/2 inch thick. Use a floured biscuit cutter to cut.
- Bake for 12-15 minutes.
Fried Duck Phone
You may not hear this dish quack when your on-again off-again boyfriend is calling, but you can always grab a bite before hanging up on your way to the smushroom.
Ingredients: 1 duck 1 cup flour 2 teaspoon salt 1/2 teaspoon pepper 1/4 teaspoon red pepper 2 tablespoon paprika 1/4 cup butter 4 tablespoons shortening 1/4 cup water
- Chop the duck into serving pieces.
- Combine the flour, salt, pepper, red pepper and paprika in a brown paper bag.
- 2-3 pieces at a time, drop the duck into the bag and shake to coat.
- In a skillet, heat the butter and shortening. Drop the duck pieces in and fry until lightly browned on both sides. Add the water, reduce the heat and cover. Summer until tender.
Blast in a glass
A new element is dropped into the already alcohol-laced shore house when Snooki brings a friend. Deena lives up to her self-imposed nickname in this recipe fit for a holiday – just don't call it an Angelina.
- Shot glass full of Rumplemintz
- Almost full glass of light beer
- Drop shot into beer and slam.
- Get thrown out of a bar early.
Enjoy night or day, especially if you plan on nursing your hangover by drinking at the beach and getting arrested for drunken disorderly before noon.
- 2 cups canola oil, as needed for frying
- 1 jar dill pickle slices
- 1 cup Italian seasoned bread crumbs
- 1-1/2 teaspoon cayenne pepper
- 1-1/2 teaspoon black pepper
- 1/2 teaspoon garlic powder
- 1 bottle Ranch dressing
- Heat the oil in a large heavy skillet over medium heat.
- In a large bowl, stir together the bread crumbs, cayenne pepper, black pepper and garlic powder. Place mixture in a ziplock bag. While still wet from the pickle juice, place pickle slices into the bag and shake it like you're on the dance floor.
- Fry the pickles in the hot oil, until golden brown on each side, turning once. Transfer to paper towels, and serve hot with Ranch dressing.
Ron Ron juice
Enjoy Ronnie's favorite pre-party cocktail before T-shirt time. Trust us -- spilling this crimson cocktail on a newly-washed T-shirt would not be fresh.
- Cranberry juice
- Watermelon juice
- Maraschino cherries
- Combine in a blender and serve in large red plastic cup.
- Prepare the smushroom.
Cream of Smushroom soup
Guidos and guidettes alike need a hearty meal before entering the smushroom.
- 4 tablespoons butter
- 1 package dry onion soup mix
- 2 celery stalks, diced
- 1/2 teaspoon dried oregano
- 2 tablespoons flour
- 3 cups water
- 1/2 cup heavy cream
- 2 pounds fresh mushrooms, chopped
- Melt butter in a large deep pan. Sauté mushrooms and celery briskly to brown mushrooms. Then lower the heat. Throw in soup mix, oregano, flour and stir. It will become very pasty. Slowly add water, stirring constantly and bring to a boil. Lower the heat to a simmer, cover and cook for 30 minutes. Puree half the soup, then combine slowly. Stir in cream, cook for a few more minutes and add pepper to taste.
- Find a willing guidette and proceed to the smushroom.
After too many Jager bombs, you may have trouble walking straight, avoiding grenades, and pronouncing Snooki's name. Grab a Red Bull and go back to season one by enjoying a Snooki Snickers treat.
- 1 cup butter
- 1-1/2 cups sugar
- 2 eggs
- 2-3/4 cups flour
- 2 teaspoons cream of tartar
- 1 teaspoon baking soda
- 1/4 teaspoon salt
- 1 tablespoon cinnamon
- 1 tablespoon cloves
- Mix together shortening, tartar, sugar, baking soda, eggs, salt and flour.
- Form dough into rolled balls.
- Combine 2 tablespoons sugar, 1 tablespoon cinnamon and 1 tablespoon cloves. Roll balls through mixture.
- Bake at 350 degrees F for 8-10 minutes or until lightly browned. Serve with Frickles.
Grenade free American pie
GFA (Grenade Free America) or GFF (Grenade Free Foundation) members will all vote in favor of a slice of this grenade free apple pie.
- 1 batch pie pastry
- 6 large apples
- 1 tablespoon fresh lemon juice
- 1/2 teaspoon lemon zest
- 1/2 cup brown sugar
- 1 teaspoon cinnamon
- 1/4 teaspoon nutmeg
- 1/8 teaspoon ground cloves
- 1/8 teaspoon ground ginger
- 1 tablespoon all-purpose flour
- 1 tablespoon butter, cut into bits
- 1 teaspoon sugar
- Dash cinnamon
- 1 tablespoon milk
- Peel, core and thinly slice apples. Toss with lemon juice and zest. Mix sugar, flour, and spices. Toss with apples to coat.
- Roll half of dough into a round shape and fit into a 9-inch pie pan. Fill shell with apple mixture. Dot top of the apples with butter. Roll remaining dough into a round shape large enough to cover top of apples. Place carefully over apple filling and crimp edges of crusts together. Make slits in top crust to vent. Mix teaspoon of sugar with dash of cinnamon. Brush top of crust with milk and sprinkle lightly with cinnamon sugar.
- Bake at 450 degrees F for 10 minutes. Reduce heat to 375 degrees F and bake an additional 20 to 30 minutes. Celebrate your grenade independence.
Stage 5 Clinger candy apples
Assemble when you feel a Stage 5 Clinger creepin' behind you. Prepare to get stuck in a sticky situation.
- 1 (14 ounce) package strawberry glaze
- 1-1/2 cups corn syrup
- 1 (3 ounce) box cherry gelatin dessert mix
- 1/2 cup hot water
- 6 Granny Smith or Fuji apples, washed and dried
- 6 Wooden candy apple sticks
- Chopped nuts
- Push wooden sticks into the apples. Make sure they're set in deep enough.
- In a saucepan over medium-low heat, combine glaze and corn syrup and simmer for 20 minutes. Dilute gelatin mix in hot water and add to glaze.
- Stir and continue to cook until temperature (use a candy thermometer) is about 200 degrees.
- Holding the stick, dip each apple in syrup and turn until completely coated. Add chopped nuts for the perfect amount of crazy. Cool on wax paper and try to escape the Stage 5 Clinger.