Sensual vacations: Putting the spark back into your sex life
Here's a recipe for putting the zing back into your sex life: Pack your bags and head out on a getaway to re-ignite passion and intimacy!
A private getaway without the kidsSpontaneous, incredible, passionate sex. You remember that, don't you? If your memory is a little foggy from working too hard or taking care of the kids, maybe it's time for a sensual vacation.
Where you go on vacation isn't as important as choosing an atmosphere that puts you and your partner in the mood for love. Some may find it seductive to strip off their clothes and mingle at a nude beach, while others crave the intimacy of a cabin hideaway where they can skinny dip in a nearby stream and make love in a bed of wildflowers. Still others may find that a bottle of champagne and the comforts of a luxury hotel put them in the mindset for a steamy encounter.
"I believe that sensual vacations can happen anywhere," says Leslie Karsner, founder of RomanceInstitute.com and author of The Long Distance Romance Guide (see Resources section below). "The key is to be in a place where you truly spend time together connecting."
Karsner says that participating in athletic activities, such as scuba diving or skiing, helps to get the adrenaline flowing, which, she says, "makes for great sexual encounters."
"Go dancing," she continues. "Try something new together...or one of you can teach the other something in which you're the pro. In any case, be sure to include laughter."
Be daring"Creating adventure in your sex life keeps it alive," says Karsner. She says that to experience a sensual vacation you should be willing to "be racy, be silly, be risky."
"Think of the things that used to be such incredible turn-ons and infuse them back into your current sex life," Karsner advises. She says that she often counsels couples to make love in a place where they've never made love before in order to create a more sensual experience.
One couple followed her advice by making love in the workout room of a high-rise hotel. "The lights were dim and were shining off the silver weight machines. There was steam rising from the hot tub and right there in an enclave they made love. It was further intensified by their reflection in the mirror. My clients were thrilled with their risky ways and giggled all the way up in the elevator," says Karsner.
Turn your home into a vacation retreatYou don't have to circle the globe to find a sensuous location. If your current life circumstances prevent you from traveling, be creative. One idea is to turn your own home into a retreat.
Julia R. of Ontario, Canada, says it's difficult to plan a romantic vacation with her husband because they have four children and little time to travel, much less be alone. But they have found a way to keep their sex life alive.
"We plan little getaways within the confines of our home that don't involve the kids," she says. "Last winter I came home late one night to see the kiddy pool in the basement filled with a warm bubble bath and the walls lined with candles. We ate strawberries dipped in chocolate. I felt cherished and loved."
Or check into a bed and breakfast or hotel that's close to where you live. "I recently coached one couple to have a rendezvous at a fancy hotel not far from home," says Karsner. "She checked in early to prepare for the evening. This gave her a chance to take a nice bath, primp, and prepare her love nest for the evening. When he arrived to meet his date, he gasped when she descended the stairs with all the splendor of the grand hotel around her. The night was off to a great start. This is a wonderful way to get away from it all, without having to travel."
Afternoon delightRemember the song "Afternoon Delight"? Well, if you can't take time for a lengthy vacation, set aside an afternoon for romance. Le Parker Meridian, a hotel in Manhattan, plays off this theme by offering rooms for just the afternoon -- you can stay for as short a time as 30 minutes or up to a maximum of five hours. Or spend the night and the hotel will wine and dine you and throw in a copy of the Kama Sutra to inspire your lovemaking.
Couples who want to enhance their sexual relationship may want to explore tantric sex. Tantric sex is known as "conscious" lovemaking, which is meditative and spontaneous. By becoming more aware of each other and learning to revere each other, couples reach a greater point of ecstasy in their lovemaking. There are many tantric workshops around the country that allow you to learn about and practice tantric sex. And signing up provides a great way to plan a sensual vacation.
One such workshop is "Sacred Sexuality: A Journey into Wildness and Wisdom" taught by Felice Dunas, PhD, at the Chopra Center for Well Being in La Jolla, California. Dunas is the author of "Passion Play: Ancient Secrets for a Lifetime of Health and Happiness Through Sensational Sex."
Clothes to the edgeAlthough not billed as such, nudist or naturalistic camps and colonies may be just the venue to revive your love life. There are many types of nudist or "clothing optional" vacations from which to choose, including camping, traditional resorts, bed and breakfasts, and the newest entry -- cruising.
Make it funMarcia S. of Boston laments that she and her partner "work so hard at work that they don't really have the energy to work hard at play -- especially on the weekends." What has worked for them, though, is a biweekly 'date' that usually ends with great sex.
Each takes the responsibility for alternating dates and their forays have included a romantic picnic-a-deux on a cozy quilt in their very secluded backyard, a drive-in movie (although they openly admit that sex in the back seat is much more difficult now than it was when they were teenagers!), a catered dinner in his office followed by sex on the couch, and a motorcycle ride up the coast that culminated in sex on the beach.
Because they are competitive by nature, each of them enjoys the challenge of planning the date as much as the events that follow. Her partner, Dave, jokingly admits that "I don't know which I enjoy more -- the dates she plans, or watching her anticipate what I have up my sleeve as I tease her about the possibilities!"
Dave has a point. It may not matter what you do to spend intimate time together. What matters is that you do it.
Want some more ideas?
- First-time getaway: Five tips to keep travel romantic and memorable
- Get lots more ideas for romantic getaways here!