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Manly kitchen tools

So you’re wise to the fact that women love men who can cook, but even though you have Emeril’s teamster-like appearance and personality, you still feel less than manly in an apron. Don’t worry, just treat cooking as a home improvement project and inject a little testosterone by getting a set of manly kitchen tools. Luckily, guys like Emeril have made cooking professional quality food at home popular, so many professional-grade tools are now available to the public.

What makes a tool manly?
In the case of the tools I’m about to describe, they either look like the tools found in traditional manly pursuits such as carpentry or farming, or they simply look like they’d be dangerous if not used with great care.

Mezzaluna Knife (Williams Sonoma, $30)
Named for its wicked-looking half moon blade, the mezzaluna knife’s rocking motion helps the manly chef quickly chop onions, garlic, or herbs.

Culinary Torch (Messermeister, $43)
You’re using a blowtorch in the kitchen. Need I really say more? Impress your next date with a delicate and sophisticated dessert like cr�me brulee, while enjoying the thrill of wielding an open flame indoors.

Monogrammed Steak Brand (Blanton’s Mesquite Wood, $34.95 and up)
This tool was truly made for the A-type manly chef. It won’t give you quite the same feeling of masculinity as branding the cow while it’s still alive, but it will let you’re dinner guests know that you’d be quite prepared to if the situation arose, by God.

Apple Peeler-Corer (Rural Root, $34.95)
We all know that Mom and apple pie go together, but when Dad gets into the act, he needs his own countertop lathe to peel and core the apples. This handy gadget would look at home on Norm Abrams workbench, so it has manly written all over it.

Deep Fryer (Waring, $129)
The Scots invented some of the manliest sports in the world, so it’s no surprise that they have a cuisine based on deep fat frying anything and everything. Make your next football party Scottish by serving deep fried Mars bars, or serve more traditional fried foods like mozzarella sticks, jalapeno poppers, even onion blossoms made from scratch in your own deep fryer. Turkey Lifters (All Clad, set of two $29.99) Going against tradition by giving Mom a break this Thanksgiving? Use these miniature pitchforks to move the unwieldy turkey or ham from the pan to the serving plate.

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