Dunkin’ Donuts fans, do you want the good news or the bad news first?
It’s freezing in most places in the U.S. — and most of us are suffering from an appalling lack of vitamin D — so let’s start with the good news, shall we? Major coffee chain and doughnut stop Dunkin’ Donuts decided we needed a little extra hop in our step, so the company’s added two brand-new coffee flavors to its lineup. Yes, as you might have guessed, these flavors are a limited-time-only deal, but hey, like you have anything better to do right now than skulk around in massive sweaters and damp boots.
The specialty flavors definitely sound yummy: Buttery Toffee Nut and Winter White Chocolate (although we probably could have done without yet another mention of this wretched season of perpetually cold toes). You can try the new flavors in hot or iced coffees — iced if you’re a winter masochist — or in macchiatos, lattes and (again, what even?) Frozen Dunkin’ Coffee.
There’s a little more good news from DD too: Dunkin’ has added a decaf breakfast tea to its lineup in honor of National Hot Tea Month. Which exists, we guess. A Dunkin’ press release says the tea is “a blend of premium black teas from around the world, delivering full-bodied, bold flavor in every cup.” Well, OK then, tea lovers. There you go. Live it up, kids, but get to bed by 8.
Now for the bad news: Dunkin’ Donuts customers might not be thrilled with the chain’s plans to chop 10 food items from its menu — nationwide — by March. We’re a little surprised by the massive menu slash, we have to say. Here’s what’s going bye-bye:
- Strawberry-banana and tropical mango smoothies
- Peach, caramel, and mocha unsweetened flavor shots
- Turkey cheddar-bacon sandwich
- Ham and cheddar sandwich
- Tuna salad sandwich
- Chicken salad sandwich
- Big N’ Toasted breakfast sandwich
- Angus steak and egg breakfast sandwich
- Some muffin, bagel and cream cheese selections
Oof! This is bad news slathered on top of bad, really, as two months ago, Dunkin’ eviscerated fully half of its doughnut choices from multiple unfortunate locations across the U.S. Why? Why, Dunkin’ Donuts? Well, the company insists this menu overhaul will mean “faster, more accurate service and a more consistent consumer experience from store to store” as they keep attempting to rebrand.
We disagree. We say this menu overhaul will mean longer drive-thru lines as people break down weeping in their cars after hearing their beloved go-to sandwich or fave doughnut is, alas, no more. But we’re cynics like that.