Jolly Rancher Pop-Tarts Are Here to Ruin Your Healthy Breakfast Plans

May 16, 2017 at 12:31 p.m. ET
Image: Kellogg's

In the past few years, there's been major pushback against big cereal companies for selling products that contain far too much sugar to be considered a wholesome breakfast. A lot of companies have made changes to their classic formulas, reducing sugar content, adding whole grains and removing artificial colors.

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But Pop-Tarts doesn't give a damn about all that hippie whole foods nonsense, and they're leaning into indulgent breakfast treats hard with their new Jolly Rancher-flavored breakfast pastries.

The Pop-Tarts come in three different Jolly Rancher flavors: Frosted Cherry, Frosted Watermelon, and Frosted Green Apple. They'll be sweet and slightly sour, just like your favorite mouth-puckering candy, and I've gotta say I'm pretty pumped that they chose the three best Jolly Rancher flavors to create these breakfast treats, which should be arriving at your local grocery store any day now.

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After Pop-Tarts came out with a line of soda-flavored pastries, I didn't think it was possible to make a breakfast that seemed more cartoonishly sugary and bright (that is, until Lucky Charms removed all semblance of nutrition and created boxes of straight-up marshmallows). Like, this is everything health advocates have been campaigning against, right? Dessert disguised as breakfast?

But even I must admit I'm intrigued by this latest mashup. Hey kids, do what I say, not what I do (she said, while biting into a triple-decker Jolly Rancher Pop-Tart stack).

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