Easter is almost here, and that means one thing: It’s officially jelly bean season. I guess we could eat jelly beans all year, but I literally can’t remember ever having eaten them or even seen them in stores outside of spring.
Now, there are a few universal truths I hold near and dear to my heart, and one of them is that any black licorice jelly beans should be immediately thrown away. But I guess I’m in the minority, because according to CandyStore.com, which unearthed the top 30 jelly bean flavors in America broken down by state, black licorice is the most beloved jelly bean flavor in the country.
You have got to be kidding me.
Source: 9+ years online candy sales data from CandyStore.com.
Now, the second-most popular flavor, buttered popcorn, makes total sense to me. Buttered popcorn jelly beans have the perfect balance of sweet and salty flavors, making them utterly snackable. And watermelon, coming in at No. 3, is a winner too — who can resist that burst of fresh fruit flavor? Also high on the list are cherry, cinnamon, pear, orange, green apple, and toasted marshmallow, all of which are inoffensive enough.
Black licorice, on the other hand, is just… the worst. It tastes like licking cough syrup off hot tar — it’s just not a flavor I can even come close to understanding.
But America has spoken. It’s almost as bad as finding out that saltwater taffy is California’s favorite Halloween candy. Like, I’m sorry, what? Who’s eating saltwater taffy outside of summer? And who are all these people who love black licorice jelly beans?
Some mysteries in life are too complex for my brain to come close to solving, and I’m afraid this is one of them. But hey, at least I know there’s a ton of people out there who are totally willing to eat my cast-off black licorice jelly beans!