This is the day, America. This is the day we all stood up and said, “I’m mad as hell, and I’m not going to take it anymore.” No more fakey-ass, zillion-ingredients, what-the-hell-is-this processed food.
One brave soul has taken to Reddit to post this message: “I don’t like this many adjectives before my ‘cheese food.'”
Sixteen individually-wrapped slices of “American flavored imitation pasteurized process cheese food.” What is that, even?
We all know that American “cheese” slices are about as fake as food comes. There is a reason why you’re not allowed to label it “cheese” (it has to contain at least 51 percent actual cheese for that label). We know why it melts that way. We know why it tastes like that. We’ve known this all along.
But something about those seven words is triggering. Why do you need seven words to say “fake cheese”? What is “American flavored” anyway? I mean, that’s offensive, right? What is there to pasteurize if it’s more interesterified soybean oil than actual milk? WTF is “process” — is that a typo or did they run out of space?
This is a wake-up call, America. We can do better. We are demanding better. And d’you know what? I see this as a metaphor for our president-elect — yes, I went there — but you can take it as a metaphor for anything else in your life that’s crappy that you shouldn’t have to put up with anymore. What is it? Name it. And at the very least, whatever it is shouldn’t require seven adjectives.