So you’re at a party, and there’s a giant bowl of guacamole. You dig in with a big ol’ chip, and you take that bite, and then you look, and there’s a whole three-quarters of a chip left. What could be sadder than a guac-less chip, especially when you’re standing right in front of that bowl? So what do you do? Muscle the rest of that dry chip down anyway, throw it away when no one’s looking, or — gasp! — do you double-dip?
Well, if you’re like 82 percent of people, you double-dip.
You read that right. Angie’s List surveyed 2,000 people across the country, and 82 percent of those people admitted to double-dipping at parties. And those are the people who admit it!
All this time I’ve been the chump swallowing the dry chip. Geez, if I’d only known double-dipping was our big secret social norm, I could have saved myself from Empty Tortilla Chip Throat Burn. Just kidding, I actually hunt for the smaller chips, which means yes, my hands have touched your chips. Because guess what else: Almost everyone reaches onto that platter of shared food with their bare hands instead of using those cheese toothpicks or a serving utensil.
But that’s less gross, isn’t it? Because double-dipping means passive contact with someone’s saliva, and hands are just… Oh God, where have those hands been? Hands could actually be worse!
Speaking of hands and worse, the tidbit I was most horrified to learn is that 67 percent of people admit they don’t wash their hands before cooking.
What the hell, people? You just walk right in from doing who knows what — juggling used toilet plungers or whatever — and start cutting up raw food? I wash my hands about 17,000 times while cooking. Who are you, even?