There is a tiny piece of heaven contained within the first gulp of an ice-cold Slurpee that undeniably rings in the summer unlike any other sugary beverage.
My love for Slurpees is well known within my friendship circles. When I found out that Faygo, my hometown soda pop company, came out with a Rock N’ Rye version on Monday for Michigan and Ohio residents, I decided to dive into additional flavors that 7-Eleven needs to crack open this instant.
1. Clearly Canadian Slurpee
Clearly Canadian is so late ’80s and ’90s that it has earned a place in hipsterville for being old-school cool. If you’re a secretly 40-year-old woman living in a 30-year-old body like me, this effervescent delight would serve well to any audience looking to keep calorie intake in check when it comes to Slurpee consumption. This would also pair well with vodka. Something to consider if you’re into that kind of thing.
2. Crystal Pepsi Slurpee
In case you haven’t heard, Crystal Pepsi is about to make a comeback! I’m here for it mainly because I kinda liked this soda brand. I know it didn’t go over too well during its first release, but I am all about second chances. Plus, anything frozen makes beverages better. It’s true. This is a life fact.
3. Sioux City Sarsaparilla Slurpee
If you haven’t had Sarsaparilla in your life, you need to change that. This might be too regional for some of our readers, but if your heart beats for the Midwest like mine does, then you’ve lived the dream that is Sioux City Sarsaparilla. If you could imagine this heavenly item as a Slurpee, then you have walked into a paradise covered in hope and healing. Sarsaparilla was used as a healing root back in the cowboy days, thus making you really cool, like Clint Eastwood and John Wayne. Even Coca Cola used this in its first batch of beverages. Coke also used cocaine, but this is not that. It’s like drinking a frozen, sweet, healthy thing when you really get down to it.
4. Squirt Slurpee
I do not know why people slept so hard on grapefruit flavor soda. Squirt is delicious. Like seriously. This soda screams summer, chilling at the pool, pre-party at the club and girls’ night out. Maybe the whole sweet-sour thing doesn’t work for people with simple tastes, but I see big things that can happen with a Slurpee birth.
5. A&W Sparkling Vanilla Cream Soda Slurpee
Image: Ani Od Chai/Flickr
Let me be clear: There is a difference between cream soda and Sparkling Vanilla cream soda. Sparkling Vanilla is when vanilla ice cream meets honey-dipped soda water. It’s similar to vanilla cream soda but covered in fairy dust. It’s that good. As a frozen beverage, this could be the closest thing to what’s offered in heaven.
6. Daiquiri Slurpee
If Chipotle can offer margaritas, then what is 7-Eleven waiting for when it comes to offering nonalcoholic items as Slurpee flavors? Daiquiris, even as nonalcoholic options, are amazing treats from bartender heaven. I have made the casual decision to ask for a nonalcoholic option in my younger days and didn’t feel like I was missing out at all.
7. Rosa Mexicano pomegranate margarita Slurpee
Image: Rosa Mexicano
If there was some way to make this happen — even just for one week — this would be the most popular thing to happen in 7-Eleven history. If you have had the pleasure of enjoying this inside any Rosa Mexicano restaurant, then you’ve enjoyed a moment of bliss. After two of these beverages, you will always end up sitting in the corner, reflecting on life, because you got hit with the “too much” drift in the company of friends. This just needs to happen nationwide, because I feel my Midwestern friends are missing out.
Oh, and if anyone cares to ship this transplanted Michigander a Rock N’ Rye treat, please pack with dry ice, and find me on Twitter for a proper shipping address.
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