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The 10 stages of making pancakes we all can relate to


So, you’ve decided to make pancakes this morning. No matter what happens, remember that we are here to support you, and we understand.

Because pancakes are great in theory. In practice, it’s another story entirely.

1. You wake up with an inexplicable desire to carbo-load and an understanding that only pancakes will satiate you


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Maybe you are hungover. Maybe you are just a masochist. We aren’t here to judge.

2. You do impeccable prep work


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Look at you! You’ve got your spatulas, mixing bowls and utensils all set out. Your griddle is preheated, and you are ready to get started. Unfortunately…

3. You realize you don’t have pancake mix


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Either you used the last of it the last time you made pancakes, or you took an oath to never, ever subject yourself to this process again.

4. You begin to frantically Google things


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“Pancake mix,” “homemade pancake mix,” “pancake mix from scratch,” “how the f*** do I make pancakes??” Unfortunately for you, most scratch pancake mix recipes require ingredients you don’t have, like self-rising flour or the tears of a virgin mermaid collected during the full moon on the eighth summer of your firstborn child’s life.

5. You decide to improvise


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Yes, it would be easier to pour cereal at this point. No, you’re not going to do that. You’ve already dedicated an hour and a half to this charade, so you just substitute your own tears for the mermaid’s, because you’ve been sobbing inconsolably for the past 15 minutes anyway.

6. At last! A pancake on the griddle!


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And it is total, utter garbage, because the first pancake on the griddle is always total, utter garbage.

7. You rethink your life choices


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You’re not even really very hungry anymore. Your hair smells like fried dough, your kitchen looks like something out of Hoarders: Buried Alive, and your skin has taken on a fine, oily sheen from splash back from the griddle.

8. The first pancake is ready!


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You eat it, ready to taste the fruit of your labors. Turns out swapping out the mermaid’s tears for your own didn’t make much of a difference. Your pancake tastes pancake-y, and you can put this one in the win column.

9. You are all done eating pancakes


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Despite the fact that this has been a two-hour breakfast in the making and that you have a perfectly edible stack of flapjacks warming in the oven, you realize after eating one pancake that pancakes actually kind of suck and you don’t really want one anymore. Or ever again.

10. You take a solemn vow to never make pancakes again


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You swear it on your firstborn’s life, slice an apple, eat that and remind everyone that since you cooked, you shouldn’t have to clean up the wreckage of Pancakolypse 2015.

More on pancakes

Bacon-stuffed pancake dippers
Tonight’s dinner: Fluffy pancakes
Not your ordinary pancake recipes

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