Taco Bell's new Biscuit Taco officially crosses the line into ridiculously un-taco

Sep 5, 2014 at 5:00 p.m. ET
Image: @maureenmorrison/Twitter

Like an obvious toupee at a high school reunion, Taco Bell is trying way too hard.

Its new Biscuit Taco is a lot of things, but a taco? I don't think so.

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Since when does bread plus fried chicken equal taco? Gimme a break! Last time I checked, a flour or corn tortilla, whether crispy or soft, was a pretty essential element of a taco. A biscuit? That, my friends, is the beginning of a simple sandwich.

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The charade has gone on long enough. First it released the breakfast Waffle Taco (it's just a breakfast sandwich, people!), and now this. Folding a carb around a filling doesn't make something a taco. If that were the case, then millions of New Yorkers who fold their slices of cheese pizza would actually be eating "pizza tacos." Chinese bao? "Asian tacos." Hot dogs? "Scrap meat tacos." A Caesar salad wrap? "The emperor's new taco."

Sorry, Taco Bell, but this time you've gone too far. I don't even care if the new biscuit "taco" tastes good — I'm just tired of your lies.

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