Who knew a sandwich could be so pathetic? If you gave your 4-year-old reign over the kitchen, I’m pretty sure that whatever they cooked up would surpass the new Fried Bologna & Velveeta Biscuit from Hardee’s, in both creativity and flavor.
We’re not full of bologna. This biscuit is! At participating locations. pic.twitter.com/kAqu3MYsxM
— Hardee's (@Hardees) August 25, 2014
This is the type of food an impoverished widower makes and eats in the dark while watching reruns of Gunsmoke. Why leave your house for this when you could just raid the gnarliest corners of your fridge and come up with something more appetizing?
We all know fast food isn’t good for us, but at least it usually tries to sound appetizing. Burgers, pizza, tacos — the fast-food versions won’t be great, but usually there are some bells and whistles that attempt to make them seem like they’ll be exciting.
What will Hardee’s think of next? A freshly microwaved bowl of SpaghettiOs that’s scorching hot on the edges and ice cold in the middle? A PB&J so dry you need to drink a gallon of water just to get it down? Or some cereal from the very bottom of the bag (mostly dust) with milk that’s a week past its expiration date?
Hardee’s, it seems, has given up. Don’t follow in its footsteps and actually order the Fried Bologna & Velveeta Biscuit — you deserve better. We all deserve better.