What if you could throw a picnic party with the most cutting-edge food and accessories? With an unlimited budget and access to Kickstarter, you could do just that. So dust off your money bags, and get ready: The craziest, most expensive picnic is just a click away.
You might think you have your picnic game down, but a lousy PB&J just doesn’t cut it these days. Kickstarter campaigns for The Coolest Cooler, which has raised $8,225,906, and Potato Salad, which has raised $55,492, have brought picnicking into the digital age, with a hefty price tag to match.
It’s always best to ease yourself into a new experience, and the realm of digital picnic fundraising is no different. Some may turn up their noses at this humble boiled egg, but not you, you picnic connoisseur, you. Easy to transport and full of protein, this boiled egg is also the most cost-effective of Kickstarter picnic foods, coming in around $3. (And really, aren’t we all so happy this project was funded so he could have an egg with his tea?)
Gone are the days of chilled white wine. Take your picnic guests’ minds off of the boiled egg fiasco (sorry about that) with one of these prepackaged, all-natural Jelly Shots. No refrigeration required. At $35,000, it’s a steal, right?
Of course, too much of the good stuff on a hot day can lead to picnic memories you’ll wish you could forget. Not so with The Hug. This handy gadget monitors how much water you’ve been drinking via a sensor you slip over your water bottle, then transfers the information to an app so you can track your intake on your smartphone. $34,000 of hydration later, and you’ll be ready for another Jelly Shot. Woot!
Now that your thirst has been quenched, it’s time to bring on the beef. Instead of a boring roast beef sandwich, bring exotic South African Biltong to your picnic. This low-carb, high-protein dried beef is the perfect paleo picnic treat, and its $12,500 price tag ain’t too shabby either.
You’ve got your Coolest Cooler in tow, but how will you organize it? The OmieBox is here to help. This bento box-style container keeps hot and cold foods at the right temperature, taking the hard work of picnic food temperature maintenance off your plate. Shell out $42,000, and you can finally keep your boiled egg hot and your potato salad cold — in the same container. Anybody else thinking about the McDLT? You know… keep the hot side hot and the cold side cold?
Don’t forget about Fido. Humans and dogs can share the gustatory pleasure of Shared Snacks, a soy-free, gluten-free, dog-human biscuit that is sweetened with fruit juices. If you’ve ever thought “this tastes like a dog biscuit” while munching a gluten-free treat but kept on eating anyway, then these could be the perfect picnic food for you… and your dog… for just $4,300.
Sure, it’ll set you back $127,802, but this is a picnic you and your wallet will never forget.