13 Gifts From Goop That No One Needs But Everyone Will Want

by Allyson Koerner
Nov 24, 2017 at 1:00 p.m. ET

Raise your hand if you get excited about Gwyneth Paltrow's annual Goop Holiday Gift Guide. Same. It's pretty much the most wonderful time of the year.

The gift ideas listed are typically ridiculous, but you can't help but scroll through each gift guide presented to see what the actor has included. Plus, you know you're hoping one day you can actually afford some of them.

This year, Paltrow has created 12 different guides, which are organized by the person you're shopping for. If you're looking for a gift for someone who loves to host parties, someone who is under 18, someone who is a dreamer, your significant other, a health nut, someone who loves to cook, someone who loves to travel, an animal lover or a guy, then you're in luck. She also has stocking stuffer ideas that, don't worry, are all under $100.

Last but certainly not least, she has The Ridiculous, But Awesome Gift Guide, which will probably be your favorite to scroll through. Hello! Who doesn't want their own personal yellow submarine from The Yacht Company? Yes, the "price is upon request," which is code for "exorbitant," but who cares, right? 

Even though most of the gifts are over the top and beyond expensive, some of the following products you know you secretly want — and might actually save up to buy for someone during the holidays.

1 /13: The only way to drink water

1/13 :The only way to drink water

Obviously, who doesn’t want to drink water out of a water bottle with a clear quartz crystal inside it?

According to Goop, this “obelisk-like” crystal “infuses water with positive energy.” If you know someone who struggles with their daily intake of water, then this is definitely the way to go. Also, it just might help them stay positive throughout their day.

Oh, and if you want to get fancier, there are water bottles with rose quartz, smoky quartz and amethyst.

Glacee clear quartz bottle, $80 at Goop

2 /13: Your own personal solar-power panel

2/13 :Your own personal solar-power panel

This will speak to someone who loves gardening and wants to protect the environment.

Perfect for a windowsill, this is a self-sustaining planter that welcomes the sun and any plant you want to see grow.

You might think this product is boring and a little steep, but come on. Don’t even try to act like giving a garden box with a mini-solar panel attached isn't sweet.

3-pot hydro-planter — solar, $219 at Goop

3 /13: The perfect luxurious travel accessory

3/13 :The perfect luxurious travel accessory

If you know someone who is all about comfort, then you probably want this cashmere eye mask and slipper combo. Obviously, the best eye masks and slipper bundles cost $220, so these are a must.

Cashmere eye mask and slipper bundle, $220 at Goop

4 /13: Cocktails to get you through any flight

4/13 :Cocktails to get you through any flight

Let’s face it. Traveling can be awful sometimes — especially during the holidays.

Also, it’s, like, a rule that you have to have at least one drink at the airport, right?

Well, if someone's running late and they don’t have time to hang out at the airport bar, then they should probably pack this travel cocktail kit. It has three different in-flight drink options, including an old-fashioned, gin and tonic and a Moscow mule.

Yes, they could just have a flight attendant make them a beverage, but this cocktail kit is so much fun and sounds like heaven on an airplane.

The Travel Pack, $90 at Goop

5 /13: A hidden vibrator

5/13 :A hidden vibrator

Sometimes a person needs to pleasure themselves — and can’t take their bigger vibrator on the go.

So this vibrator necklace is a great option. You can’t even tell it’s a personal pleasuring device, either, which is great for anyone who’s trying to keep their masturbation techniques to themselves.

Furthermore, it’s 24-karat gold-plated and is USB rechargeable. This might be the best invention ever.

Vesper vibrator necklace, $149 at Goop

6 /13: The best screwdriver ever

6/13 :The best screwdriver ever

Everyone needs their own tools — including this screwdriver.

There’s a good chance whoever you're buying for already owns a few screwdrivers, but, hello! This one says “Screw Me” on it.

It’s suggestive and fun, and it actually works. Basically, it’s the best screwdriver that has ever existed.

Baron Von Fancy Screwdriver, $25 at Goop

7 /13: A taco encyclopedia!

7/13 :A taco encyclopedia!

Raise your hand if you love tacos. Everyone? OK, now raise your hand if you’ve always wanted to know everything there is to know about tacos. Everyone again? Great. Finally, raise your hand if you're buying for someone who also would agree with both of these questions. All of you? Fantastic.

This taco encyclopedia has 100 authentic recipes, explores Mexico’s taco traditions and has 250 photographs, interviews, stories, graphics and even maps.

It’s the book you never knew you needed in your life until right now. Taco Bell, sorry, but you might’ve just been replaced (unless it’s a really late drunken night or someone is too lazy to cook).

Tacopedia, $29.95 at Goop

8 /13: For the space lover — kind of

8/13 :For the space lover — kind of

There’s a good chance your loved one who adores space will never travel out of this galaxy, so this is probably the only way they'll ever come in contact with “moon dust”.

It might not be the same thing, but, hey, tell them to just be happy and pretend they're on the moon.

No, you don’t rub it all over your body or inhale it, but you do drink it. Once this blend of adaptogenic superherbs and supermushrooms are added to coffee, milk, water, smoothies, hot chocolate or ice cream, they are said to help your body relax in all kinds of ways.

This particular box includes supplements to better your brain, your beauty, your sex life, your power, your spirit and your dream.

The Full Moon sachets, $35 at Goop

9 /13: Baby Christian Louboutins, of course

9/13 :Baby Christian Louboutins, of course

Baby Christian Louboutins? Uh, they are so unnecessary, but, oh so cute.

Designed with help from Paltrow herself, these are limited-edition baby shoes, so you'd better get them before they’re gone. They even come in pink and blue satin.

A baby’s cuteness level will skyrocket with these adorable teeny-tiny shoes, so just buy them already (or ask Santa, because they are kind of expensive for a pair of shoes a baby will probably only ever wear once).

But, hey, sometimes it's OK to spend a little extra on that adorable baby in your family that you love immensely. 

Gold Laminato Dino shoes, $250 at Goop

10 /13: For die-hard 'Harry Potter' fans

10/13 :For die-hard 'Harry Potter' fans

If you know someone who doesn't own the entire Harry Potter book series yet, then you'd better change that, stat.

This product is quite a bit more than you would spend on the average hardcover boxed set on Amazon, but how can you pass up a Gryffindor-theme boxed set? It makes it all the more special — and magical — during the holidays.

It’s like the Sorting Hat sorted the books itself. All the books (which Hermione would love, BTW) are hardcover and wrapped in Gryffindor jackets and packed in a Hogwarts traveling trunk.

Even if this is the only gift someone were to get from you during the holidays, they would still love you, trust us.

Harry Potter Set: Gryffindor Edition, $275 at Goop

11 /13: A new way to watch TV

11/13 :A new way to watch TV

You know, sometimes you might get sick of watching TV — on a TV. Also, you might know someone who loves gadgets, so this would most likely intrigue them.

This mobile projector serves as a mini-projector that allows you to display whatever you're watching (after being paired with your smartphone, tablet or laptop) onto a blank surface, like a wall. How awesome is that?

Television, computer and phone screens are so yesterday, so owning a mini-projector is the way to go — and will make anyone in your life totally jealous.

Cube mobile projector, $299 at Goop

12 /13: The fancy poop bag dispenser

12/13 :The fancy poop bag dispenser

Any animal lover will most likely love this, especially if they want to look très chic whilst picking up their dog's poop.

This felt accessory that holds doggy-do bags might seem a bit over the top, but who says someone can't look cute picking up dog feces? Taking a dog out can be fashionable, OK?

Plus, the bag has a hook that can be latched onto a leash, so it's stylish and practical.

Felt doggy-do bag, $42 at Goop

13 /13: The purr-fect cat present

13/13 :The purr-fect cat present

This cat bed is so hilarious, it's so right.

Not only would a cat have the time of their lives chilling in this bed, but so would their owner watching their pet hanging out in a shark's mouth. Just imagine watching your cat get "eaten" by a great white shark over and over again.

It's really a gift for both a cat and their owner — and one that isn't just comfortable, but also entertaining.

Great white shark cat bed, $89 at Goop