12 Wild & Heartbreaking Details We Learned From Prince Harry’s Bombshell Memoir ‘Spare’

Saying ‘Goodbye’

In an excerpt obtained by Us Weekly, Harry talked about how he felt left behind when his brother and Kate Middleton got married in 2011. “I recall Willy walking her back up the aisle, and as they disappeared through the door, into the carriage that would convey them to Buckingham Palace, into the eternal partnership they’d pledged, I recall thinking: ‘Goodbye,'” Harry wrote.

Harry added, “The brother I’d escorted into Westminster Abbey that morning was gone — forever.” Looks like someone wasn’t too happy for the newlyweds. 

Their Feud Got Physical

Back in 2019, the rising tensions between William and Harry turned physical in a discussion over his marriage to Meghan Markle, per The Guardian.

After accusing his older brother of not helping them out with the media, things quickly escalated. “He set down the water, called me another name, then came at me,” Harry recalled. “It all happened so fast. So very fast. He grabbed me by the collar, ripping my necklace, and he knocked me to the floor. I landed on the dog’s bowl, which cracked under my back, the pieces cutting into me. I lay there for a moment, dazed, then got to my feet and told him to get out.”

Feeding the Rumors

According to another excerpt from Duke of Sussex’s Spare, per Page Six, Charles often cruelly played into the rumor that he was not Harry’s biologically father, but was Diana’s lover Major James Hewitt instead. “Pa liked telling stories, and this was one of the best in his repertoire. He’d always end with a burst of philosophizing… Who knows if I’m really the Prince of Wales? Who knows if I’m even your real father?”

Calling the bit “a remarkably unfunny joke,” Harry once again reiterated that his mother only met Hewitt long after he was born.

The Story Behind the Nazi Costume

Marking one of Harry’s most serious allegations to date, the royal shared that Kate Middleton and William told him to wear his infamous Nazi uniform in 2005. 

“I phoned Willy and Kate, asked what they thought. ‘Nazi uniform,’ they said,” Harry wrote, adding that he brought the costume home and tried it on. “They both howled. Worse than Willy’s leotard outfit! Way more ridiculous! Which, again, was the point.”

Markle vs Middleton

Speaking of Middleton, Harry wasn’t afraid to go after the Princess of Wales, especially went it comes to defending his wife. In Spare, Harry got to the bottom of the bridesmaid dress drama between Markle and Middleton, a discussion that left Markle “sobbing on the floor.” 

According to the royal, it all started four days before his and Markle’s wedding when Middleton texted about a “problem” with Charlotte’s dress. Markle the day after replied back, suggesting that she take her daughter to Markle’s tailor who was waiting to help. Middleton, however, said it wasn’t “sufficient” and that the dress should be entirely remade. 

Markle, in the midst of her father’s scandals, did not have the energy to compromise with her future sister-in-law. So, in return, Markle asked if she knew what she was going through with her father and insisted that she see the tailor. “Fine,” Middleton then replied, clearly unhappy. What a messy situation!

William Had Suspicions About Camilla

Charles and Camilla had an affair for years, but young William and Harry were still in the dark. In a new excerpt of Spare, obtained by The Independent, it looks like teenage William had an inkling of what was happening.

“Willy had been suspicious of the Other Woman for a long time, which confused and tormented him,” Harry wrote. “When those suspicions were confirmed, he felt agonizing remorse for not having done or said anything before.” 

Wicked Stepmother?

According to the same The Independent article, Charles wanted to introduce Camilla to his sons before going public. Harry compared their introduction to an “injection,” writing, “Close your eyes and you won’t even feel it.”

Young Harry, however, was mostly concerned about how Camilla would treat him. “I remember wondering if she would be cruel to me,” he wrote, “if she would be like all the evil stepmothers in the stories.” 

Doing the Deed

For Harry, nothing appears to be off-limits in his new memoir. In an excerpt obtained by Page Six, the royal opened up about losing his virginity, which he described as a “quick ride” with an “older woman.”

“She liked horses, quite a lot, and treated me not unlike a young stallion,” he wrote. Harry went on to describe the rendezvous as an “inglorious episode,” adding that after doing the deed “she’d smacked my rump and sent me to grace.” 

Private Matters

Shockingly also in the memoir is Harry clearing up some rumors about his private parts, per Page Six. “My penis was a matter of public record, and indeed some public curiosity,” he wrote. “The press had written about it extensively. There were countless stories in books, and papers (even The New York Times) about Willy and me not being circumcised.”

He continued, “Mummy had forbidden it, they all said, and while it’s absolutely true that the chance of getting penile frostbite is much greater if you’re not circumcised, all the stories were false. I was snipped as a baby.” Glad we cleared that up, I guess?

His Drug Liberation

Knowing how much Harry has been through over the years, it’s no wonder he looked to alcohol and drugs as an escape, per an excerpt obtained by Page Six. “I was willing to drink, I was willing to take drugs, I was willing to try and do the things that made me feel less like I was feeling,” he said. 

Most specifically, Harry admitted to doing cocaine a few times, something he’s vehemently denied in the past. “I’d been offered a line, and I’d done a few more since,” he wrote. “It wasn’t much fun, and it didn’t make me particularly happy, as it seemed to make everyone around me.”

Duty Confessions

Harry, who served in the military for approximately 10 years, got candid about his time on duty. Most shockingly, the royal specified how many people he killed during service. “It seemed to me essential not to be afraid of that number [of people killed]. So my number is 25,” Harry wrote, per New York Post. “It’s not a number that fills me with satisfaction, but nor does it embarrass me.”

Harry also explained that “you can’t kill people if you see them as people,” adding the only way to do so is seeing them as “chess pieces removed from the board … bad guys eliminated.”

Trip Down the Tunnel

In an attempt to seek closure from his mom Princess Diana’s death, Harry went to France and drove down the tunnel where she was killed. “We zipped ahead, went over the lip at the tunnel’s entrance, the bump that supposedly sent Mummy’s Mercedes veering off course but the lip was nothing,” Harry recalled, per Us Weekly. “We barely felt it.”

He continued, “I’d always imagined the tunnel as some treacherous passageway, inherently dangerous, but it was just a short, simple, no-frills tunnel. No reason anyone should ever die inside it.”

Knowing the lack of danger there, the royal regretted ever making the trip. “It had been a very bad idea. I’d had plenty of bad ideas in my twenty-three years, but this one was uniquely ill-conceived,” he wrote. “She’s dead, I thought. My God, she’s really gone for good. I got the closure I was pretending to seek. I got it in spades. And now I’d never be able to get rid of it.”