Rachel Lindsay is ready to make history in tonight’s The Bachelorette premiere (we seriously still can’t believe it took the franchise an entire 33 seasons to finally cast a black bachelor or bachelorette), and you know we’re going to celebrate with a stiff drink — or two or three or four.
Look, we love The Bachelorette as much as anyone else in Bachelor Nation, but we’d be kidding ourselves if we didn’t own up to the predictability. It’s something we soak up every season — so much so that we’ve created a drinking game called Predict-orette around it.
Even the most shocking moments have a hint of predictability to them. There’s going to be a meltdown, someone’s going to get wasted, there’s going to be a fight and someone is going to show up wearing some dumbass costume.
I never fails. We might as well be drinking as it happens.
Take a sip anytime a guy says one of these predictable phrases:
- “I’m not like other guys.”
- Anything involving the word “journey”
- Our bachelorette “looks beautiful”
Also take a sip anytime…
- A bachelor tries to be unpredictable by opting for a strange outfit
- A bachelor goes in for a kiss on the lips
- A bachelor makes an awful joke
The rest of the show(s)
Throw back a gulp anytime…
- The word “journey” is said… again
- Someone confesses the bachelorette is their “soulmate”
- An unresolved relationship back home is uncovered
- Someone says he or she wants to take it slow
- The smack talk begins (only when it begins, though — take care of your liver)
Finally, finish your glass and watch in excited bliss anytime…
- Your favorite bachelor peels off his shirt
We’ll stop there to keep you from getting too sloshed, but make sure to let us know if you think we missed anything that warrants a turn on Predict-orette.
Bonus: Do a double sip anytime someone does something “shocking” for attention.
Originally published May 2013. Updated May 2017.