Gwyneth says Botox made her look like Joan Rivers

Keeping it high and tight into her forties isn’t easy for Paltrow. She works out for hours a day, has instituted a family carb ban and will try just about anything to take years off her face. Anything except Botox.

Gwyneth Paltrow closeup

So is it safe to assume Gwyneth Paltrow doesn’t view Joan Rivers as a role model? The actress/cookbook author/good-life lifestyle advocate slammed 79-year-old Joan Rivers when the subject of Botox came up in Paltrow’s May 2013 Harper’s Bazaar cover story.

She said she worries about getting older, and so she got a laser treatment from her Los Angeles dermatologist. “It’s called Thermage. It’s not invasive. I went out to dinner right afterward and I didn’t look crazy, but it’s quite painful. It feels like someone’s smacking your face with a rubber band that has an electric shock in it. But I would do it again, because I feel like it took five years off my face.”

She’s not ready to consider anything more drastic than lasers, though. Yet. “I would be scared to go under the knife, but you know, talk to me when I’m 50. I’ll try anything. Except I won’t do Botox again, because I looked crazy. I looked like Joan Rivers!”

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Oh, ouch.

Paltrow also told the magazine she works out for two hours a day, exfoliates nightly, and uses “a lot of organic oils” on her face. Do you suppose she goes to bed in curlers and a mudpack like Lucy on I Love Lucy?

Interestingly, Paltrow also admitted to smoking… one American Light a week on Saturday night.

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“You know, I use organic products, but I get lasers,” she said. “It’s what makes life interesting, finding the balance between cigarettes and tofu.”

Or Coke and Cheetos.

It clearly suits her. She looks amazing in the Harper’s Bazaar photos. But the text of the article is hilarious. The writer calls Paltrow a “honey-limbed chatelaine” and says things like, “Her wide blue-gray eyes flash me a look of amused self-knowledge.” Ha hahahaha!

Rivers, who is an avid Twitter-er (is that a thing?), hasn’t yet responded to Paltrow’s snub. Hope she will.

Image courtesy Brian To/