Happy B-Day, Lady Gaga! Mother Monster's cryptic tweets

Mar 28, 2013 at 10:00 a.m. ET

From wearing a meat dress to arriving at the Grammys via egg, Lady Gaga always keeps us guessing. Today, for her 27th birthday, we take to her Twitter feed to decode some of the star’s most puzzling posts.

Lady Gaga
Lady GagaThe tweet: My new years resolution: Never be afraid to be kicked in the teeth. Let the blood and bruises define your legacy.Twitter icon

Our take:

Sounds like Gaga is adopting a Mad Max mantra for 2013… and, hey, with her penchant for futuristic ensembles, we could totally imagine her battling alongside big-haired Aunty Entity (aka Tina Turner) in the Thunderdome.

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Lady GagaThe tweet: im a vision shittily wrapping xmas presents getting blunt ashes on everything while everyone calls me "stephanie." my family is so eightiesTwitter icon

Our take:

Apparently, Gaga's fam likes to partake in special Christmas spirits while getting into the Christmas spirit. And by that we mean they're smoking more than the Christmas ham. And by that we mean they’re tokin' it up in their tacky Christmas sweaters.

Lady GagaThe tweet: I had a life dream to be transported in a time machine to 1973 NJ, beer + badboys. Someone heal me it happened + then I sang with the StonesTwitter icon

Our take:

Who wouldn't want to go back in time to party with the Stones? Gaga's 2012 performance of "Gimme Shelter" with Mick Jagger and co obviously had the pop singer feeling slightly transcendental. Either that or "time machine" is secretly code for Christmas stash (refer to previous tweet).

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Lady GagaThe tweet: HappyBirthdayMarilyn, they'll never take our blonde hair and lipstick.Twitter icon

Our take:

Gaga isn't the first celeb with a Marilyn Monroe obsession — but she might be the only one who thinks mysterious someones are trying to strip the ladies of their glamorous lips and locks. Perhaps the blond hair and lipstick bandits she alludes to are puritans who think hair dye and cosmetics are the devil.

Lady GagaThe tweet: People ask me why I wear veils. I reply, I'm mourning. Mourning what? Well I figure something shitty must be going on somewhere.Twitter icon

Our take:

From what we can tell, Lady Gaga is one bad day away from holing up in her room with a bag of Chips Ahoy! in a fit of depression and/or cynicism. Chin up, Gaga… you've got a lot to be happy about! We, however, are mourning that you had to cancel your "Born This way Ball" tour due to injury. *Tear!*

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Photo credit: Ryan/WENN.com, Stuart Castle/WENN.com