Glee recap: I Do(n't)
There's a reunion in Lima for Will and Emma's wedding, and ironically everyone else is pairing off without commitment.
Wedding bells or fire alarm?
To Emma (Jayma Mays) it apparently wouldn't have made a difference, because she runs faster than I do to get a post-winter pedicure. The queen of OCD morphs into a runaway bride in this Glee wedding episode.
Emma is jittery in all of the events leading up to the big day, and her typical meek demeanor is replaced by guilt and straightforwardness. She doesn't feel compelled to tell the truth and just wants to forget it happened. She quickly shoots down Finn (Cory Monteith) when he wants to discuss his own guilt, after he consults with Rachel (Lea Michele) of all people, mind you.
A side rant: Great decision there, Finn. Discuss your innermost conflicts with the woman who broke your heart. But we do see some needed dialogue in which he tells Rachel that not everything is about her. You get a slow clap for that one, buddy.
Back to Emma. Her pivotal moment is confessed in a song (of course) in which she contemplates if this is really what she wants. She pours out her fears all while wearing an elegant, feminine lace wedding dress. Sue (Jane Lynch) emerges wearing the same one to taunt Will (Matthew Morrison), not Emma, of course, which makes for a tragic, but oddly relatable moment. She has been married once before. Who would want to risk making the same mistake twice?! To her credit, though, she did push Finn away after he kissed her.
How does Will find out that Emma ended up bailing? Sue walks down the aisle to the shock of the audience, and whispers to him that his beloved is gone. Tragic. Later, because no one could let the man mourn, Santana (Naya Rivera) approaches him on behalf of Emma's parents to inquire about the status of the wedding reception. Will encourages them to enjoy it as it is Valentine's Day and says he will go look for Emma. That's when the real drama begins. Will and Emma may have ended things forever, but the hook-ups in Lima are just getting warmed up.
Boyfriend with no benefits?
Valentine's Day was a big day, not only because it was supposed to be Will and Emma's wedding, but Marley (Melissa Benoist) is eager to see what Jake (Jacob Artist) got for her.
She surprises him early with handmade cuff links (don't let him lie to you girl, he isn't wearing your ugly cuff links), and he is dumbfounded. Why? Because this fool had forgotten about the most important romantic day of the year. Thank goodness he had Ryder (Blake Jenner), who is wise in advising all things Marley.
Ryder guides him into creating a weeklong Valentine's celebration, all with thoughtful presents that are specific to Marley's wants and needs. Jake, like a dolphin, just follows orders and delivers, and receives all of Marley's affection. We watch Ryder struggle with this, since he clearly is the one who knows Marley best.
In an aggravating exchange, Jake reveals that he thinks he is going to get laid at the reception. Dumbfounded, Ryder tells him Marley isn't ready. Jake tries to insert some fluff about loving her (which you can tell is just fluff) in an attempt to dilute what he said. Even though he and Marley are seen entering a hotel room, they leave with their clothes unruffled and her apologizing for not being ready.
At school, Marley thanks Ryder because she knows he was the mastermind behind the gifts. How does he respond to her astuteness? He kisses her! Looks like Jake and Ryder will have a lot of talking/fighting to do in the next episode...
Girlfriends and boyfriends with benefits
Blaine (Darren Criss) and Kurt (Chris Colfer) hook up again, but Kurt doesn't want anything more. Blaine did and Tina (Jenna Ushkowitz) could see it. She realizes there was nothing she could do and apologizes for her unrealistic advances. Blaine still looks stupid, because after an intense hotel hook-up, Kurt very curtly fails to address that they were anything more than friends. Ouch.
In other boring news, Tina is dubbed their new "hag." Glorified third wheel, whatever. I don't care for Kurt and Blaine as a duo anymore — it seems dry.
But prepare for the most jaw-dropping moment on Glee: Quinn (Dianna Agron) and Santana hook up! No, we didn't see all of the graphic details, but their flirting during the reception (where Quinn looked fierce) was overwhelming to watch!
Although Quinn tries to make it clear it was a one-time thing, Santana pushes for another time in the hotel room and they go at it again! I have a feeling Glee will have a lot more male fans now... even though this pair seem very forced.
Old friends reignite old benefits
The most profound, poetic scene on Glee has to be awarded to the exchange between Finn and Rachel when she catches the bouquet. He talks about their love being the "endgame" and how she lives with "some dope," but it was they who were meant to be.
As he plucks petals off a daisy, he chants, "she loves me, she loves me not" in between plugs for their story and how they really feel for each other. Long story short, they end up hooking up in the hotel.
Rachel goes back to New York, where she cuddles up to her "open relationship" live-in boy Brody (Dean Geyer), who wants to know if she hooked up with anyone. She indirectly suggests that she did, and asks him to reveal the same. He says he watched wrestling all weekend, but in a flashback viewers see him leaving a hotel room.
Where does this leave Rachel? Naive as ever, but possibly pregnant! On the most random hunch, she takes a pregnancy test, and when the results are ready, instead of relief, we see her in a conflicted daze.
I can't believe we have to wait three weeks to see Glee again, but in the meantime: What do you think readers?! What is in store for our couples? Are any of these friends with benefits going to end up in long-term relationships?
Artie (Kevin McHale) also found a love interest this episode. Would you like to see more of that? What hook-up shocked you most? How do these kids afford hotel rooms?
All I know is I expected better music in the Valentine's Day episode! It was not up to Glee standards. Now go rant or rave below!
Check out the promo, too.