Chris Brown identifies with Jesus on the cross. That’s what the world learned yesterday when the “Don’t Wake Me Up” singer posted a painting of Jesus on the crucifix with the caption, “Painting the way I feel today. Focus on what matters!”
Um, yeah. Brown, who ignited controversy when he reportedly fought with singer Frank Ocean over a parking spot (and then fled the scene before cops arrived), apparently feels like he’s being crucified.
Let’s review the crucifixion of Jesus, shall we? First Jesus was given a crown of thorns, brutally beaten and spat on. Then he had to drag a heavy cross for miles; he was offered wine with gall upon his arrival. Next, he was nailed up on the cross by his hands and feet until he died after hours of agony.
Yeah, we can see how a few nasty gossip stories are just like that!
The really interesting thing about this story is learning that Chris Brown paints. And what paintings! His Jesus looks like He-Man wrapped in toilet paper. Also, he’s a double amputee: Brown apparently can’t paint hands, so he camouflages the end of his figure’s arms with blurry white flashes.
Take heart, Breezy, a lot of artists find hands hard.
Brown is known for his controversial (and amusing) tweets and Instagram posts. Our favorite: The Dec. 2 snap of Brown glaring at the camera with a cigarette in his mouth, Rihanna in her undies and the caption, “What would music today sound like if these kids didn’t exist?”
Ha ha ha ha ha! Now that is narcissism right there, kids. Take note.
By the way, Brown’s Instagram account is called #f–kyopictures, without the hyphens. There you go.