Kristen Bell’s birth plan: Whiskey and drugs

House of Lies star Kristen Bell cracked wise on The Ellen DeGeneres Show when asked about how she plans to give birth to her first child. The plans involve whiskey and a baseball bat.

Kristen Bell in a silver dress

Kristen Bell is no natural-birth advocate, the pregnant star told Ellen DeGeneres on Thursday’s show.

“I’ve got nothing to prove,” laughed the actress, who is due in late spring. This will be her first child with partner Dax Shepard.

She says her “birth plan” is to get through birth as painlessly as possible.

“I feel like when I arrive at the hospital, I want a glass of whiskey, I want the epidural in my back,” Bell told DeGeneres.

Also, could you please knock her unconscious?

“I want to get hit in the face with a baseball bat, and wake me up when it’s over, because I’ve seen the videos and it looks terrifying.”

Kristen Bell & Dax Shepard: Kids first, marriage second >>

For his part, Shepard is more attuned to what he’ll do with the baby once it’s out of the womb: “He’s just thinking about all the off-roading he’ll have in this tiny partner.”

Meanwhile, Bell is really enjoying being pregnant and says she’s never felt better about her body.

“My self-esteem has never been higher — I look in the mirror and I think it’s the reverse body dysmorphia,” she said. “I can understand what my shape is, but I see Brooke Shields.”

And far from being cranky, “something that the baby’s giving me hormonally makes me feel really giggly and happy.”

Image source Apega/


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