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Jodie Foster’s Golden Globes speech: What was that?

Jodie Foster did a lot of things during her Cecil B Demille Lifetime Achievement Award acceptance speech. Mostly, she just confused us.

Everyone had the same question for Jodie Foster: What in the world were you trying to say during your speech at the 2013 Golden Globes? The actress was awarded the Cecil B Demille Lifetime Achievement Award and took the stage to give her acceptance speech.

And what a speech it was.

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We think Foster was trying to give a speech about the importance of privacy and longevity in today’s celebrity-obsessed culture. However, a couple of cocktails jumbled the true meaning of the message.

“So while I’m here being all confessional, I guess I just have a sudden urge to say something that I’ve never really been able to air in public. So, a declaration that I’m a little nervous about, but maybe not quite as nervous as my publicist. Hi Jennifer! Um, but I’m just gonna put it out there, you know? Loud and proud. So I’m gonna need your support on this.”

Many of us already knew what was coming out: her coming out. But, she didn’t exactly say it in so many words.

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“I am single,” she deadpanned to laughs.

“I’m kidding. I’m not really kidding. I am not giving a coming out speech tonight, because I already did my coming out about a 1,000 years ago back in the Stone Age,” she continued. “But now, apparently, I’m told that every celebrity is expected to honor the details of their private life with a press conference, a fragrance and a prime time reality show.”

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Then, she retired?

“I will never be up on the stage again, on any stage, for that matter. Change. You gotta love it. I will continue to tell stories, to move people by being moved. The greatest job in the world. It’s just from now on I may be holding a different talking stick and maybe it won’t be as sparkly, maybe it won’t open on 3,000 screens. Maybe it will be so quiet and delicate that only dogs can hear it whistle, but it will be my writing on the wall: Jodie Foster was here, I still am and I want to be seen, to be understood deeply and to be not so very lonely. Thank you, all of you, for the company. Here’s to the next 50 years.”

Except she didn’t really retire. She told reporters backstage that her cryptic comments meant she’s going into directing rather than acting.

Well, it was gutsy — whatever it was. And no one will forget it any time soon.

What did you think of Jodie Foster’s speech?

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