Bethenny Frankel "fell to pieces" over baby's gender

Jun 13, 2012 at 4:58 p.m. ET

Bethenny Frankel's miscarriage pain caused the ultra-busy reality star to take a hard look at her life. In the latest issue of Glamour, the mother of Bryn confesses she feared losing the baby was all her fault.

Bethenny Frankel

Before Bethenny Frankel miscarried her baby, she knew she was in a high-risk pregnancy category. The reality star and Skinnygirl mogul tried to cut back on her busy schedule, but when the miscarriage happened she couldn't help but wonder if she had done enough to "take it easy" as the doctor had ordered.

Explaining her miscarriage feelings to Glamour magazine, Bethenny Frankel shared, "Because my first pregnancy had been complicated, and because I was over 40, the doctor told me that I was high risk and needed to take it easy. So I took it easy. I had to."

Despite her best intentions, the mother of daughter Bryn with husband Jason Hoppy admits, "I felt seven months pregnant even though I was six weeks along."

Realizing she was losing the baby, Bethenny Frankel quickly sought help.

"We met the doctor in his office," she recalled. "And I launched into it. 'Is it because I'm busy? My lifestyle? Is this my fault?' I asked. 'Absolutely not, absolutely not,' he replied, before I could dump all my neuroses on his desk. 'You're 41. You had bleeding. There's nothing you could have done.' And I hadn't done anything. Since I'd found out, I'd been lying down for an hour or two every day and letting others take up the slack. But I blamed myself — of course I did."

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Causing even further heartbreak, the doctor called 10 days later to follow up with Bethenny and shared that the lost baby was a girl.

"I fell to pieces," Bethenny Frankel admitted. "I was picturing Bryn with a little sister. Two little girls in rain boots."

"I'm healthy and could try again," she added of trying for another baby with Jason Hoppy. "But I don't want to be a 'trying' person. If it's meant to be, it will happen."

Image via WENN