Demi Lovato revealed shocking details of her recovery from self-injury and eating disorders in a new documentary — and said it has not all been smooth sailing.
Demi Lovato has made a remarkable recovery since her 2010 stint in rehab, but it has not been nearly as easy as she has made it look. To make sure her young fans understand exactly what she went through and how hard she is fighting to get her life back, the former Disney star agreed to let MTV cameras follow her through her recovery — and what she revealed is raw.
In Stay Strong — a title derived from the tattoos that now adorn the star’s wrists — Lovato is shown at her first Thanksgiving dinner in recovery from self-injury and bulimia, and is seen obviously struggling with the cornucopia of food in front of her. With the help of multiple phone calls from her sponsor throughout the day, Lovato managed not only to eat but to keep everything down.
“And that’s something that I’m really proud of,” she said.
But not every day was filled with such success. “I cannot tell you that I haven’t thrown up since treatment,” she revealed. “I cannot tell you that I have not cut myself since treatment.”
“This has been a daily battle.”
Lovato also revealed what led her down this destructive path in the first place.
“When I was four years old and I remember looking in the mirror and thinking I was fat,” she said. “I was constantly feeling guilty about my weight.”
“Even when I did lose 20 pounds when I turned 12 because I stopped eating, it’s never enough. It was an obsession of the mind.”
“I was not eating and purging and self-harming.”
It takes a lot of courage to air such intensely personal issues to the world, but Lovato said despite her discomfort, if her story helps one girl it’s worth it.
“It was kind of a challenge to open up to cameras knowing it would be in front of the world. I felt really vulnerable, and I still kind of do tonight,” she said in an MTV after-special, adding, “I wouldn’t change it. I know that some girl probably needed to hear this story tonight.”