Kim Kardashian, we love your curves. But these high-waisted pants simply have to go.
For those of us carrying a little extra junk in the trunk, Kim Kardashian shines as a beacon of buxom, bootylicious hope. No, seriously. Woman cannot live on salad and Crystal Light alone. Curves are sexy — and so is a heap of mashed potatoes lying in wait next to a juicy, hot hanger steak.
But these high-waisted pants? Oofah! We haven’t felt this horrified since Jessica Simpson sported those hideously unflattering mom jeans at a Florida chili cook-off back in 2009.
Now, don’t get us wrong, Kimmy girl. We are all about taking fashion risks. Why, just last week I was berated by someone for having the audacity to wear white after Labor Day (the horror…).
But girl code dicates, “Thou shalt help a sister out when toilet paper is stuck to her shoe,” and we’re not about to argue with doctrine.
So consider those pants a giant, hip-bloating, butt-widening wisp of toilet paper. They are not doing you any favors, Kim Kardashian. And Lord knows after Kris Humphries-Gate, you are in some serious need of good press. So do us a solid and don’t ever let these pants see the light of day again.