Shania Twain reveals she was 'ready to die' over husband's affair

May 2, 2011 at 4:46 p.m. ET

Shania Twain opens up about everything from her ex-husband Mutt Lange and his affair with her best friend to growing up with domestic violence in her new book, From This Moment On. Check out some highlights from her autobiography as the country superstar shares the ups and downs of her rise to fame.

Shania Twain book cover

Shania Twain seems to have everything going for her. She has sold over 75 million albums worldwide, has her own reality show called Why Notpremiering on Oprah's OWN network, has an adorable nine-year-old son and is a happy newlywed with businessman Frederic Thiebaud.

In her new autobiography, From This Moment On, Twain reveals the devastation she suffered as she learned that her husband of 14 years, Mutt Lange, was having an affair with her best friend Marie-Anne in 2008. Even though she has since divorced and re-married (the ex-husband of Marie-Anne!), she opens up about this difficult time, which she calls "the most shocking and painful truth of my life since the death of my parents 20 years earlier."

Shania on her divorce from Mutt Lange

"For the first week after finding out about the affair, I was ready to die -- to go to bed forever and never wake up. Or to hurt someone. I was ready to do something desperate, but in reality, there was nothing to do but to suffer through it. Fortunately, when you're a mom, the responsibility of caring for your child can keep you going," Twain writes. "Denial can have multiple layers, and rationalizing is common when you're trying to absorb something you just don't want to believe. I thought: Okay, so maybe they made a mistake. My husband and my friend will come to their senses and realize that. I was ready to forgive, and forget, make things right, move on, and get on with our lives. Not like nothing had happened, but like something had happened that I thought was fixable. But this was not to be."

Twain reveals how she came to an understanding and moved on. "Despite everything, I still loved my husband. And I still loved my friend," she writes. "I put myself in their shoes with the understanding that accidents happen, we're all human, and we all make mistakes... Eventually, I came to the point of accepting the end of my marriage."

Shania on her abusive childhood

Twain also opens up about her difficult childhood and she recalls one heartbreaking incident in which her stepfather was abusing her mother.

"My mother was a featherweight and so easy to push around. Jerry had her on the bathroom floor by the toilet, and, grabbing her hair, he slammed her head against the side of the basin, knocking her out cold," she writes. "I could see Jerry repeatedly plunge my mother's head into the toilet bowl, then pull it out again. I remember wondering, 'Why is he trying to drown her when she's already dead?' I wanted to scream, 'Stop, you already killed her!' I wanted to stop him, but I was too afraid... The enormity of that helplessness transferred to me, and I felt as limp as she was."

Shania Twain's book, From This Moment On, hits stores on May 3.