Dancing with the Stars final five is Gilles, Melissa, Shawn, Lil’ Kim, and Ty? How did that happen? It’s not that I don’t appreciate the charm of that not-so urban cowboy, but this is a dancing competition. Was everyone else in the competition that bad that Ty Murray is still in the pack? Before I go any further, let me just say that if he remains tonight and anyone of the other four go home — I’ll never wear my Dancing with the Stars leotard ever again!
And it’s not just the voters at home causing this strange mix-up. Carrie Ann gave Ty and Chelsie a 9 for their Argentine Tango last night. Oh, please. Thanks heavens for the Rumba, where he falls into the 7’s where he belongs. I could hardly watch him trying to look sexy on the dance floor and when he did hip wagging solo for wife Jewel, I laughed out loud (note in the photo below that Jewel laughs too!). That’s not the feeling a Rumba is supposed to invoke. I love ya as person Ty but not as a dancer.
Now let’s look at the real contenders. Still last on my list are Shawn and Mark. They did a darling Quick-Step to Aladdin’s Ain’t Never Had a Friend Like Me. It was bubbly and bouncy and it was my favorite dance of theirs. In the Latin round, they performed a Paso Doble for great marks but as usual, I don’t see it. Shawn just doesn’t have the lines and the stage presence of the other dancers. She’s my vote for elimination after Ty.
Lil’ Kim and Derek glide across the floor in a Waltz set to Rod Stewart’s When I Need You. It’s very pretty but I think her short stature really works against her in dances like these. Her height doesn’t matter at all in the Salsa she does for the Latin round, that’s all booty shaking and hair tossing. There were shades of Tina Turner — I think which prompted Len to exclaim that she and the salsa go together like spotted dick and cream. That’s a kind of cake-like pudding for those of you who don’t speak Brit.
Gilles’ Foxtrot fever
Gilles and Cheryl turn out the sexiest Foxtrot I’ve ever seen to the sultry song Fever. Gilles is dressed in a ’30s suit and hat and man do they make eye contact! I loved it and so did the judges. They scored a 29 out of 30. Ironically, I found their Foxtrot to be sexier than their Rumba because that was a little too overt for my taste. Sure the rolling on the floor together was hot but this is a dance competition not a scene out of From Here to Eternity. And you know how I love Gilles but his solo moves at the top of the dance had me very confused. Was that a moon walk in that Rumba?Melissa and Tony lulled us all with a gorgeous Viennese Waltz to Sarah McLachlan’s Angel. They simply floated on the floor and Melissa’s dress was my favorite of the night. It had these billowy white sleeves that looked like wings when she moved. Yet, somehow, they only scored straight 9’s. They did get their first perfect score at the end of the night for their shimmying Samba. But poor Melissa turned all shades of red when some of her slipped out of the skimpy bikini top.
Melissa’s really had the wildest ride of the bunch. Remember, she came into the competition at the last minute after Nancy O’Dell had to drop out. A lucky move for Tony that I’m sure he thought would work out quite differently. Melissa had the crowd from day one but then that nasty rib injury kept her off the floor. Now she’s back and fighting through the pain and I’m glad she got dumped by that arrogant Bachelor guy, if he had stayed with her, she wouldn’t have made it to Dancing with the Stars. I guess it’s true that every cloud has a silver lining and she’s proof.Up until now, I’ve been cheering for Gilles to win, but not I’d like to see Melissa take that trophy home.Tonight, the three remaining dancers in the Dancing with the Stars pro competition will show off the celebrity partner they’ve been training this week. Back on the dance floor will be Cody Linley, Lisa Rinna and Maurice Green. That should be fun. Also, it’s the return of Dance Center.Tune in tonight to see who goes home but first there will be plenty of music and dance! It’s Dancing with the Stars tonight at 9:00 on ABC.
Photos: ABC/Kelsey McNeal